The Student Teacher
by lollex1
Summary: New student teacher, Clary Fray, thinks she knows exactly how her semester is going to be. But when she meets the man she is going to work closely with for the next few months, she may change her mind. Read and Review please :) (All characters belong to Cassandra Clare, of course!)
1. The First Day

Of all of the schools they could of stuck me in, _of course_ I got put in the only private school in the area. If I had gone to public school when I was growing up I wouldn't have a problem. But I knew how all of these girls treat each other and how the guys are the biggest assholes around. I've done this snobby dumbass go around one too many times.

But here I was walking into my and their first day after Christmas break. As soon as I saw the familiar plaid skirts, I could feel the bile forming in the back of my throat. I looked down at the ground as I walked into the front doors. St. Mary's High School in central California was everything I had feared it would be. I walked by countless girls in skirts drinking their Starbucks and laughing obnoxiously. Their faces were caked with makeup and their hair held about a can of hairspray each.

Everything that I had run away from was coming right back at me tenfold. High school hadn't been that bad for me, I was an art freak who never talked to anyone. If you told me a name from my class, there is a 15% chance I'll know who you're talking about.

It wasn't school that was bad it was the students. The teachers also loved to pick favorites and I had never been one of them. As soon as I graduated, I never looked back. My best friend Simon was the only one I still kept in touch with after high school and I regret nothing.

I walked into the first set of double doors after a sign pointed this way to the main offices. There was a women there juggling a stack of papers with folders, her coffee, and her keys in the door handle. I walked quickly over to her and helped her before her day got a whole lot worse. She looked up at me before I noticed how beautiful she was. I felt very intimidated by her existence; I wanted to go home right then and there.

_Fray, get your head in the game. _

I did not work so hard to graduate a year early just so I could quit because of student teaching. It is for one semester and I refuse to be that person. I smiled softly at her before we walked into the dark room. Lights quickly came on as she flipped the switch and walked over to a desk.

_Isabelle Lightwood_ was the name listed on the plaque at her desk. There was a huge diamond ring on her left ring finger and I once again felt extremely intimidated. "What can I do for you today, sweetie? Are you one of the new transfer students? Your parents are supposed to be here with you if you are enrolling."

"Oh no…I'm the new student teacher. I was told to come here to check in," I said nervously.

She looked shocked and her face flushed mildly. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

I laughed and grinned at her to show I wasn't upset. "It's alright, I'm told that quite often. I've learned just to roll with it."

"Haha, you're funny, I like you already. Mr. Bane, the vice-principal, told me all about you. You came here from the University of the Pacific, right?" she asked me.

"Go tigers!" I put my fist up in the air halfway to show my mock school spirit. It's not that I didn't love my school, because I did, I just hate it when people over-advertise their college of choice. I could say that my college had the most beautiful campus, but that's just my opinion after all.

Her phone started singing, the Fray's "Love Don't Die", from her coat pocket. She blushed again but this time she didn't apologize.

"Jace, what? You should be here by now. Classes start in a half hour–" the man on the phone interrupted her and she deadpanned.

Her head tilted back slightly as she took a deep breath before she answered him. "Okay, I'll call a sub in for you. Jace you can't keep doing this, Mr. Starkweather doesn't like you and you are making it worse by never showing up. Plus your student teacher is here today and you are not. What is she supposed to do?"

The voice in the phone said something that I couldn't quite understand.

A smirk grew on Isabelle's face, "Yes, Jace it is a female, and you are to be a perfect gentleman at all times. But to answer your question, 8."

_Hold up, was she __**rating**__ me._

I was shocked to say the least. My face gave me away and Isabelle sent me an apologetic look. She finished her phone call quickly after that. She began putting her things away as she talked to me. "That's Jace for you. He's a good man that you will mistake for a perverted jackass more than once."

She took her coat and put it in the closet I was standing next to. Compared to me, she was a giant. Even with wedges on I couldn't compete with her willowy frame.

Everything about this woman intimidated me and it frightened me. My grip on my bag containing my most valued possession tightened and my knuckles were turning white. She turned towards me and asked me, "Did you bring a laptop with you so that we can download the software on it?"

I nodded and lifted my bag slightly.

"Let me draw you a map so that you know how to get to our IT office, he's a great guy. I'm a little biased because he's my brother, but still he's great and I'm sure he will be more than happy to help you."

She took a pen from her drawer, or should I say flower pen, and started sketching the layout of the school. I would have been happy had she explained how many left and right turns to take, plus I could tell her drawing skills weren't very good. When she was done and handed me the paper I instinctively had the urge to draw my own map. If only my father had let me major in art at the Art Institute in New York City like I begged him to.

"Also before I forget, what do you wish to be called, Ms. Fray?"

"I go by Clary, so just call me that and thank you," I said as I took the map and left the small office.

I followed the map, running into people walking on the left side if the hallway. First of all, this isn't England and second of all, clearly I look lost so why run into me. To say I was frustrated was an understatement. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and if it had been a student I'm sure I would've flipped out. The woman I turned to was gorgeous and immediately it seemed like you had to be gorgeous to work here. But then again I was here, so that couldn't be true. She wasn't tall like Isabelle but she had curves in all the right places. Her hair wasn't dark like Isabelle's and her eyes were crystal blue.

My face matched my red hair half the time and my eyes were emerald green. I was completely ordinary when I was comparing myself to these girls. My pencil skirt was a little tight and my hair was piled on top of my head lazily with chopsticks keeping it up.

"Do you need help finding something?"

But then again it was just my first day after all.

**Author's Note: Well tell me what you think! Review let me know if I should continue! It's been done before, but my other story is too serious for some fluff so this story is mostly fluff :) Let me know!**


	2. World 1, Fray 0

**Please read my Author's Note at the end of this chapter :) **

Her paint covered apron gave me the jealously I needed to not sound nervous. "Oh no thank you, the secretary drew me a map." I started walking away, but she didn't get the message and matched my pace.

"Isabelle can sometimes be scatterbrained. Can I make sure she at least is telling you the right place to go?" the blonde asked me sweetly. I handed the piece of paper reluctantly over to her. While she had her head bent looking at the paper I rolled my eyes in spite of her. "At the next left, take a right and it's the third door on the left."

I was a little shocked and my little faith in Isabelle went down to micro size. Maybe she just wanted me to look like a lost puppy roaming around in the hallways. "oh..um thank you?" I tried to say as she started walking back to wherever she came from. I took a right at the next passage and walked past a few more students on the way. Most of them were out in the courtyard finishing up homework and studying before their first class. For a private school this place seemed to be more chill than the one I attended. Though having a courtyard in Vermont may not have been the greatest idea.

When I made it to the third door, which was the last one down this hallway, I suddenly got the feeling that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. There was no sign on the door that indicated what room it was or anything at all. But when has that ever stopped me before. I knocked timidly on the door, but no one answered. After a minute I decided I better just open the door.

_What a bad idea that was._

In what seemed like a greenhouse classroom were two non-students (at least I assumed so) getting it on right on the desk. Their clothes were hanging in random plants around the room. I was really uncomfortable, but I mean who would be _comfortable_ in that situation.

I made a noise that I couldn't really describe and closed the door behind me. Whoever they were, they must be deaf if they didn't even notice me. Also stupid for not locking the door. I'm getting the idea that the woman who gave me these directions was lying, and that Isabelle is actually the only person that hasn't screwed with me today.

I got the map back out and returned to my starting point outside of the main office. I followed the path and got to a different door labeled "IT Office".

_World 1, Fray 0_

I knocked on the door, and a muffled voice told me to enter.

When I opened the door it was exactly how I would expect an IT office to look like. Cords were everywhere and there were random headphones placed in the oddest places. There were two desktop computers and then small piles of laptops available to students for their schoolwork. It must be nice to be able to just come in here and borrow a laptop; my school never had those privileges. I have looked into schools that have a 1:1 program so that every student has to have a laptop. It's interesting because I can bet those students are listening only half of the time while the other half is spent talking to their friends on Skype and other pointless games. Blocking systems can only do so much; kids will always find something to do that bends the rules.

"Hello, are you Ms. Fray?" a man, that looked exactly like a masculine Isabelle except for his deep blue eyes, asked me.

"Oh you can call me Clary, I'm sure I will need your help a lot. I've never worked a Mac before. None of this comes naturally to me," I said with humor in my voice.

His mouth twitched but he didn't smile, he didn't seem like the type to smile just because. His white button up shirt was rolled past his elbows and I so badly wanted to pull them down to make it look better, but that would be weird.

"You can call me Alec. Once you use our laptops for presentations and lecturing, you'll most likely want to buy a Mac just because they really are convenient. I used to be a PC person until I went to college for this stuff. I still have a PC, but when it comes to students and teachers, Macs are the easiest to handle. Let me see your computer so I can put the compatible software onto it," he explained.

"Duly noted, but my whole life is on this baby, so please be careful," I begged as I put my bag onto his desk and pulled out my PC. After I got the computer I thought splattered paint would look cool on the cover and it hasn't faded in the last two years. It was the one thing in the world that could describe me.

"I will, in the meantime you can grab one of the white Macbooks from the pile over there," Alec pointed across the room. I walked over to the laptops and grabbed the first one; it had a sticker labeled "Loaner #00034". I brought it back to his desk and he motioned for me to sit down as he opened my PC. I had previously gone through everything on my laptop (not that I have anything bad on it, _jeez_) and deleted everything embarrassing.

"Oh you graduated from Burr and Burton Academy?" Alec looked shocked. He must have seen my desktop picture of Simon and me at graduation.

"Yes…is it familiar to you?" I asked secretly hoping that it wasn't.

"Actually I graduated from there myself, as did my siblings. Well my sister and Jace, my little brother Max is currently enrolled there," he explained, but as soon as I heard Jace again I understood. The ring I saw on Isabelle's finger earlier clarified it all.

Why do people need to get married so young, I mean live a little. Branch out before you make any long-term commitments to someone, that's just the right way to do things. Experiencing the world could change you in ways no one could imagine; you could be a completely different person than the one you are now. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for my father's persistence. He wants me to graduate and then he'll allow me to take a year before I take a job anywhere. I had thought that once I turned eighteen that I would have a say in my own life, but he didn't want me to take out any student loans. So here I am respecting all of his commands like a dog.

"How did all of you get a job at the same school?" I asked and kept my rudeness to a minimum.

"My father owns this school, not that he has much to do with it. He wanted us to stick together until we got married. Kind of like one last hurrah, though it won't last more than this year because of my siblings," Alec said sadly.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't pry. I ought to get going anyways, what is the login for this loaner?" I changed the subject quickly and got up from my seat. I gathered my bag and put the loaned laptop into it.

"Guest for username and Guest for password," he smiled in amusement like I was an idiot.

"Right, right. Probably should have known that. I'll see you soon, I have no doubt," I said while I retreated from the room clumsily almost tripping over my own feet. The bell rang and I watched as students went to their classes. The school was creepier when there was no one in the hallways. The emptiness of it all made me want to shiver despite the heavy coat I was wearing.

I made my way back to the main office where Isabelle was on the phone with someone. "–is Jeff feeling any better? Oh that's terrible, I'll make sure his teachers know that he won't be here today. Thank you Mrs. O'Dell, have a blessed day!" Isabelle groaned as she hung up the phone. When she saw me her face automatically changed, "Did you find it?"

"Yes I did thank you. Can I ask who is the art teacher here?" I said as subtle as possible.

"Oh that's Kaelie. She didn't give you too much trouble did she? She doesn't like new meat very much, in fact she doesn't like anyone very much." Isabelle giggled at something I had no idea about.

I decided to keep what I had seen to myself and remember to keep out watch for Kaelie. I didn't want to make any enemies my first week here, let alone my first day. "What should I do now, boss?" I asked jokingly to her.

"Well there's a substitute in for Mr. Lightwood and Mr. Bane is stuck in meetings until lunch. You might as well have not come in today Clary, I'm sorry for the inconvenience," she looked guilty.

"Oh no really it's fine Mrs. Lightwood. I'll just come back tomorrow and start over," I said happily.

"Oh, Clary please call me Isabelle, that makes me sound so old!"

I laughed at her discomfort and waved as I left the building. My phone was buzzing and I checked my recent text message from Simon.

_So when's lunch?_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ:** **Okay guys seriously, this story is a fun project for me. I have no idea where this is going. TELL ME any cute ideas you have for this story by Reviewing/PMing me PLEASE:)**

**Also if you're interested in a more Shadowhunter fic, my other story The Circle is set in Idris (like the real one, not something named that). **


	3. Some Choice Words

**To whom it may concern: Isabelle is engaged, just not to Jace. Clary thinks it is Jace and she will continue to think that for a considerable amount of time. (Well **_**technically **_**she thinks they're married and that he just doesn't wear a ring). I don't want this story to have her jumping at him the first time she sees him that just feels foe to me. I want them to be emotionally involved before a relationship is able to take place. **

"No, no, no. What about that time that you tripped and fell into Payton's lap during lunch and the cheerleaders all dumped their milkshakes on you?" I was laughing so hard I started snorting causing me to laugh even harder. We had been switching off remembering each other's worst moments.

Simon was laughing at me too and I couldn't help but love our relationship. We used to date, that was how we first met. Freshman year at the academy he asked me to homecoming and right after the dance to be his girlfriend. I agreed being the stupid freshman that I was, and two months later I broke up with him because I couldn't kiss him. He had tried a few times but I brushed him off. When I finally did kiss him, it felt like kissing my brother. Though kissing my brother would be much worse on the scale of things. Plus Jonathan is just an asshole anyway; I always ignore him whenever our family gets together. Having him in my life has always been more of a hassle than he's worth.

After a month of silence, Simon finally cracked first because he wanted to show off a new comic book that had come out and no one else loved anime. I'll never forget that day; it was the day that Simon became the only person I'll ever be able to count on. No matter how mad we get at each other, we'll always be there in the most drastic times. My father doesn't care about what I want, my mother cares but isn't around to do anything about it, and my brother is a replica of my father with possibly more annoying features.

We were eating brunch at a local diner a few miles from the school. I had ordered a tofu burger with a large side of curly fries, while Simon ordered the same with onion rings. We had both become vegetarians (well he was Jewish already) sophomore year when we dissected a baby pig. Bacon will never be the same to me again, _shudders_. Poor little Ronald, yes we had been the ones to name the pig before we took out its internal organs.

I still couldn't get the image out of my head from earlier, and I didn't even know these people yet. I would give someone my kidney if I never had to be in a room with either of them.

I was thrown back into reality when Simon threw a French fry at my face. "Hey!"

Despite my yelling, Simon was grinning at me. "What, you're zoning out again. You get so lost in your head sometimes. I'm surprised you were able to concentrate long enough in your classes to graduate early," he said to me in defense.

"Was that an insult or a compliment?" I winked at him.

"Oh come on Fray, I learned a long time ago that insulting you only leaves me with many bruises. For a tiny thing, you pack quite a punch," Simon said while massaging his arm in memory of an old bruise.

The chorus of "Losing Your Memory" started when my phone rang. I searched my bag until I realized it was in my coat pocket. When I pulled it out I clicked answer before registering that the number wasn't in my contacts. "Hello?"

"Good Afternoon, is this Ms. Fray?" a male voice asked. I sincerely hope this was about one of the many job applications I have been filling out recently.

"Yes, it is can I ask who is calling?" I asked politely.

"Oh this is Mr. Bane, the vice-principal at St. Mary's. I just wanted to ask if you could come in earlier tomorrow so that you and I can have a chance to go over your plans for the semester," he explained.

"I will plan on coming in an hour earlier, is that alright?"

"Oh, that should be plenty of time. I will be a real pleasure having you on board with us this semester, your father seemed very excited about it."

There was a long moment of silence because I actually didn't know how to respond. Suddenly Isabelle and her siblings attending the same school as me didn't seem so weird. In fact it was as if we had all been put here by our fathers. None of us were in control of our own lives. I quickly said I had to go and the grip on my phone loosened when he hung up.

I had some choice words to share with my father when I get my hands on him.

**Meanwhile Izzy POV**

**This quote literally defines Izzy (in this chapter): "If I told you I've worked hard to get where I'm at, I'd be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now."-Jarod Kintz**

I clicked _ignore call _for the thirteenth time today. If Sebastian wanted to talk to me, then he could very damn well drive and visit me. We haven't seen each other in a week and only because when I went to visit him, he had a class and didn't tell me. _What kind of fiancée does that_? He frustrates me so much, but I also loved him more than my own life. He knows me better than anyone in the entire world. When he asked me to marry him on Blackfriar's Bridge in London, last year on my birthday, there was no other option besides yes. We have been together since before I moved to California, which had not been my choice. I wanted to stay in New England and attend fashion school and become a designer. I had never seen marriage in my future until my father stuck me in this bogus job along with my siblings. With all of my screwing around in high school, my parents (aka my father) thought it would be best if I spend a few years to quiet down. What a better place than one that they practically own, I can only assume that there are cameras on me right this second.

Sebastian had already planned on going to college and grad school here before my father gave me my sentence. We hadn't really talked about the whole long distance thing, which I'm sure wouldn't have gone well. Here we are less then two hours away from each other and I barely see his gorgeous face. My platinum diamond ring makes me smile every time I look at it. Most people commented about the size, but I wouldn't have cared if it had been .1 carats. I just wanted something to show that I am forever bound to someone because it makes my heart melt. There's no one better I could picture myself with. Sebastian is so like me but also dark and mysterious, he is the whole package. It was no surprise when all of my friends went loco when I first introduced him. I may be conceited when I say this, but I am attractive and so is Sebastian. A lot of people stare at us in envy when we walk down the street, but that factor never mattered to us. We were just two people lost in the big wide world.

My ringtone went off again and I instinctively almost clicked ignore before I noticed the caller ID said Jace and not Sebastian. "Good God, this better be important. What do you want?" I asked as I answered the phone.

"You know for someone who answers phone calls all day, you'd think that being rudely discreet would be a big no no," Jace said sarcastically in response.

I decided to put my secretary character on full blast for dramatic effect. "And how is Mr. Lightwood feeling today? I'm sure that stomach bug he caught; the scientific name for it is hangover, should be gone throughout the next few hours. I'll let his classes know that he is MIA. Thank you for your input and have a blessed day, Mr. Lightwood!" I said quickly and hung up before I could hear him interrupt.

The next thing I had to take care of today was filing all of the freshman's medical files. There was a stack of manila folders placed next to the permanent records file in Mr. Starkweather's room, but I had the rest of the day to accomplish it. I'm sure it would take me that long just to organize it in alphabetical order. Shoot I was in for a long day.

**Review if you want me to update again this week :) **


	4. Golden God

**I'm sorry it has been almost a week. :( Enjoy!**

"I think it is obvious that your father undersold you. With your credentials you could quite literally have been put into one of the top ten schools in the country," said the man that I saw naked yesterday. When I first walked in here I contemplated quitting right then and there. My father had a good point, he said it would look bad if I quit and switched to a different school, but I saw this man _naked_. I'm sure if I had told my father that factor I would have been back home by now. My breakfast was threatening to come back up the longer I sat here staring at him.

"Thank you, Mr. Bane, that means a lot to me. I emailed you my lesson plans, but I expect them to change depending on what Mr. Lightwood thinks and his advice. Is he in today?"

"Yes, I do believe he arrived a few minutes before you did. He had a few things to deal with considering he is the coach of the basketball team. He may not be in his room, but you're welcome to go there and wait for him. Ms. Lightwood gave you a key and the room is number eighty-seven. Eight is the hallway number and seven is the room number. You'll eventually figure this school out. I hope you have a good first day, Ms. Fray," Mr. Bane explained with a small smile. I think he realized how uncomfortable I was, he just didn't know exactly why.

I picked my bag up off the floor and made my way through the door back into the main office. Isabelle was there talking to someone on the phone about a Senior Banner or something like that. I didn't catch much of the conversation before I waved to her and left the office. The hallway closest to the office had a plaque with "51-60" listed on it. I walked past it hoping that six would be the next number, but that wasn't the case. I saw the next hallway was "41-50" and I turned around and walked back towards the office. I decided not to ask Isabelle for help again and to try and find my own way. If this side of the school was the lower numbered rooms then the other hallways across the courtyard must be where I'm supposed to be.

It was early enough that no children were crowding the grounds of the school and I chose to cross the courtyard. I figured it was the faster way and a breath of fresh air is always nice before being stuck inside all day. My nerves had mysteriously evaporated after my meeting with Mr. Bane; I think the disgust won out. Only a handful of students were outside and they stared at me as I crossed, they most likely believe that I'm a new student. I know I'm short and have a baby face, but I'm almost out of college. This is getting ridiculous.

Once I got to the other side of the building, it was easy to find the correct hallway. It was the same hallway Kaelie had incorrectly guided me to yesterday. Diagonal from the room I dreaded the most was room number eighty-seven, or better known as my new hell. I grabbed the key stashed away in my pocket and unlocked the door. Turning on the lights and observing the generous amount of space, I noticed how little decorations there were. The whole room was the color white and I felt the need to steal some paint from the art room and make this room my new canvas. Only two posters in the entire room, and they were both about basketball. _How boring is this guy?!_

There were two teacher desks located in the room; I went to the smaller one to put my things down. The chair squeaked loudly as I pulled it out so I could sit down. I was still trying to get used to my loaner laptop, but some of the features threw me off. _Why are the exit buttons on the left side for everything? _I found myself groaning half of the time while I waited for them to finish with my laptop. Two more days and I could get rid of this thing.

Mr. Lightwood and I exchanged emails last week about lessons for this week and I spent a few hours doing Power Points for my lectures. Based on where each class was in history, I wrote each an estimated lesson plan.

Isabelle gave me my class-teaching schedule, because it was easy to assume that I would have a hard time remembering all of this. I was lucky enough to get a coach for my advisor; he had an extra free period at the end of the day for any extra time he needed with the team. For me, this meant that I could go home early. St. Mary's students attend six curriculum classes everyday. They have two lunch periods; one for upper classmen and one for lower. The school gives them forty-five minutes for each lunch, while the remaining students are still in class. Homeroom is at the beginning of the day for an hour so that the students have time to get here late without missing classes and to do any last minute homework. They have eight minutes in between classes to get where they need to be; if I had that when I was in school, I wouldn't have had half of my tardies.

I was zoning out when a Greek god walked into the pale room. I couldn't breathe and I could feel my heart beating fifty miles per second. _What kind of school did they send me to?! _Why is there someone this attractive working as a freaking schoolteacher? I wanted to say something to him, but my anger was seething through my mind. I stood up to distract myself and decided to shift my feelings into worry about meeting this man. Surely there should have been a law about looking this good, and as I got closer to him he seemed to get even more attractive. His hand was outstretched and I gladly met it with one of my smaller artist hands. He grinned at me and I finally found his imperfection; he had a chipped incisor. His golden eyes matched the color of his hair perfectly, and I mildly accepted that he must dye it for it to look this good. His work attire allowed his shirt to be tight from his obviously large muscles underneath. If I wasn't drooling by now, I'm sure I would've been if he didn't break my concentration by opening his mouth, "Look, I know I'm a golden god and everything, but there's a lot we need to go over before homeroom starts."

It was then that I noticed the vague lipstick mark right above his upper lip. My anger came back immediately, "What do you want me to break out into song? How about _Tiny Dancer_? Oh and you've got something on your face, right about here," I sarcastically responded as I pointed at my upper lip. I saw surprise in his eyes, but it was gone quickly. I made my way back to where I was previously engaged in my Civil War PowerPoint for the juniors. It was just review, because they had previously covered most of the material before break. I had some trouble getting my pictures to show up, but in the end I managed to finish it right before the conceited jackass entered the room.

I was really excited to start talking about the World Wars because those were topics that I found most interesting in history. Learning the history of the United States was one of the reasons I chose to become a teacher to begin with. Don't get me wrong; I would pick a blank canvas and a paintbrush over any history book there is. But I appreciate the past of our world and I am interested in its future. Especially interested in the future of this semester, because working next to this guy every single day seems more like a problem.

**Anyone catch my reference? **


	5. Dirty, Please?

Before homeroom began, Golden gave me a seating chart for all of his classes. His homeroom consisted of seniors with last names Mo-Re; he subtly said that his homeroom was the best, but that didn't surprise me. I was not needed to be there for homeroom, but it was a whole hour I could spend working on assignments and trying to get myself ready for actually teaching.

Mentally my mind was goo, but I wasn't about to let Mr. Gold over here know that. All of the students stared at me when they walked into the room. I looked down to see exactly what I had worn today, a white button down blouse tucked into my light brown pencil skirt at my waistline. This morning when I was picking out my wardrobe for my first day _again_, I was fighting with myself a lot. All of my pants were out of the picture because of heat, but moving to Stockton I had already known that. I rarely bought pantsuits unless I wanted to look incredibly professional, which didn't happen often enough.

There wasn't a seating chart for his homeroom so I didn't know who everyone was, not that I needed to. I saw the cliques form around the room and then the loners sitting at their desks doing homework by themselves. Very few of the students were doing homework, but then again school just started again. Most of the kids were playing games on their phone or already in heated conversations with people around them. It reminded me of my high school days, but these kids were a lot different than me.

You could always find me avoiding all school responsibilities in the art room covered in my latest project. I saw people talking about me, but I never cared to find out exactly what everyone thought of me, I just assumed they had no opinions of me. It was easier to judge them if I thought they couldn't judge me right back. I think that goes for everyone, if you think that everyone likes you, it is always easier to see the bad things in others.

I was sketching the beach with a sunset, which I had seen firsthand many times, when I felt the silence creep around the room. The heat from everyone's stares was directed at me and I looked up frightened at what I was about to face. Mr. Golden was staring down at me with his hands on his hips, with the dirtiest scowl I had ever seen.

When he realized he had my undivided attention he started lecturing to me with his class as an audience, "When my students ignore me, I accept it because they're children. But when someone who I am supposedly advising ignores me, I get a little annoyed. You realize that one day you will not have the chance to zone out and draw these stupid little pictures," he picks up my almost completed sketch and shows it to his class. After they have had a look he starts ripping the paper into little pieces scattered around the floor.

Tears threatened my eyes, not that I truly cared about the picture, but the fact that this man thought he could embarrass me in front of all these students had me livid. Whenever I would get mad and try to yell at Simon or my parents, I would end up choking on my own tears and not be able to get the words out. I was determined not to let that happen this time. It was different to yell at someone you don't necessarily know. My face heated up and I took a shaky breath before I got up from my seat to walk directly in front of him.

"Look, I don't know you and you don't know me, but let's get one thing straight. I am not some little children's toy that you can push around for your own enjoyment. You act as if I chose you to be the teacher I shadow. I didn't and if I could switch schools I would've done it before I even stepped into this godforsaken place. Now I'm going to get some coffee, do you want anything?" I finished as I turned back to my desk and grabbed my bag.

When I turned back around all of the kids had made themselves busy knowing that their entertainment had ended.

Mr. Golden was staring at me with what I had pictured was respect, but it could have been a number of other things, perhaps not so nice ones. He shook his head lightly and I nodded at him as I walked out of the room away from the man I had a newfound hatred for.

_Who does he think he is?_

* * *

><p>Before I left the building to find Starbucks, I stopped by the main office. Isabelle was at her desk attending to some paperwork. I would hate to be a secretary, it seemed like she never stopped working.<p>

I walked through the glass doors and she immediately smiled when she saw me approach, "Oh Clary! To what do I owe this meeting?"

"Hi, Isabelle," I beamed at her. "I was wondering if I had any messages, my father said something about a package coming for me."

"I haven't seen anything, but I'll be sure to tell you over the intercom if something arrives for you. How has Jace been?" Isabelle looks curious.

I thought back to when he snapped at me and decided against telling her every last detail, "Oh he's alright. A little cold, but I've dealt with worse from my own family." I was honest, maybe too honest, but I didn't really care who knew about my personal life. I barely had one and my family was a subject I was comfortable talking about. I am an open book, there's nothing you can say about me that I will take personally when it comes to people that are of blood relation to me. Now if you said something bad about any of my art pieces I would take that to heart and most likely claw your eyes out. I only ever showed people the art I was most confident with, and I've always been praised for it. I suppose getting a little true feedback wouldn't be such a bad thing.

_Oh who am I kidding?_ It doesn't matter anymore; my life has already taken its track and I wasn't even the conductor.

"Ah, I see you have some baggage. Well doesn't everyone? I think you and I need a proper greeting. I assume you've been to the clubs around here, how about Paradise Nightclub?" the dark-haired girl looked at me expectantly.

"Oh, I've only been there once or twice, my roommate likes to go there a lot. She's always meeting her hook-ups there. I go with her when no one else is around, but it's fun and the drinks are cheap," I said with a small smile. I didn't really like the club, but that opinion could be who my company was. Helen and I never got along, but we persevered because we knew there were worse roommates than each other. "I'm not going to drink the night before I have to work, unfortunately. But I will gladly go and party! Do you care if I bring along a friend of mine?" I asked knowing that Simon was going to be invited no matter how she answered.

Isabelle didn't disappoint and nodded her head quickly. "So tonight at 8?"

"Yeah that sounds just fine," I say with a smile and I make my way to the doors. "Do you want anything from Starbucks while I'm there?"

"Oh goodie, can I get a grande caramel macchiato? I'll buy next time!" she adds quickly before I mockingly salute her and leave the office.

I was starting to like Isabelle a lot more than I had originally intended. She was just so excited about life it was refreshing. I felt happier whenever I was around her, which is one of the reasons I accepted her invitation to go clubbing tonight. I pictured me going out with Simon and then going out with her, I could easily see which one I would have more fun with, and it wasn't my dork of a best friend.

I loved Simon, but he was as awkward as me when it came to dancing. At least when I'm around a bunch of drunken girls, they can make me move with them. Plus my mind is normally fuzzy so I lose all of the care I had before I started dancing. I haven't gone out since Thanksgiving and I think I needed to let go of all this tension.

I made it to Starbucks and back to the school within fifteen minutes. Homeroom still had a couple of minutes so I hung around the office drinking coffee with Isabelle to pass the time. When I heard the already familiar ding, I said goodbye to my newfound friend and made my way back to hell. The first class of the day starts with freshman learning about World History.

When I was exploring the school, I had found Mrs. Peabody to be very informational about World Literature. I borrowed one of her textbooks and decided to incorporate some of my teachings with hers. She taught seniors so I thought it was fitting that I get them accustomed to the material as freshman.

I had my mocha in my hand as I walked into the classroom and saw all of the curious ninth graders looking at me. Mr. Lightwood was seated at his desk clearly playing some game on his phone. _Oh yes, I sure am working with the brightest teacher this school has to offer. _

I made my way to the desk I had claimed and waited for him to begin introductions. Today would be a calm day for me, I was just meant to learn as much as I could about the students. For each class I printed a common assessment for their learning progression and then a get-to-know-me sheet.

Mr. Lightwood began the class by telling a few jokes about his high school days, but I didn't find them as funny, considering everything he said about our school was false. Some of the stuff was more realistic than others; for example_ there's no way he jumped into the school pool butt naked. We didn't even have a pool._

On the inside I was annoyed but I didn't let that show when he introduced me, "Class, this is Ms. Fray, she will be here for the rest of the semester to see how things work at our school. Most of the time, she will be teaching this class so I hope that you give her all of your determination and attention."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes when he said determination, _are you serious they're freaking freshman!_

"Hello, this semester I hope to help you discover the world we live in and all of its beautiful history. I want you guys to be honest when I pass out this pre-test. It's the only way I know exactly what to teach and how long I need to teach it for. Take your time with these," I started passing one out to every student.

A couple of them moaned loudly, but no one objected. They must be used to these from previous classes. I remember hating these assessments, but I discovered they were essential if I wanted to teach classes what they needed to know without frying their brains. Mr. Lightwood had retired to his desk and was now doing God-knows-what on his computer. "Just bring them up here when you're done and pick up this fun little questionnaire."

About ten minutes into the practice test some started to finish, or guessed on most of them. I would assume the latter, but who knows. They picked up the other sheets and took only a few minutes to finish those as well. One of the first questions was: When is your birthday? I was hoping that I could find the same date throughout history that every person's birthday meant something to someone.

Most of the freshman's birthdays were in spring, summer, and fall. Only about five of them were born from November to March, which I found extremely odd. I was going to have some fun with these I thought to myself as I smiled and that's exactly how most of my first day went. I ignored the pointless stares from Golden boy and kept myself busy trying to memorize names before we started classroom discussions.

Before I knew it, Mr. Lightwood was packing up his things and I followed suit. When I was just about to put my jacket on I realized he was still in the room. "Do you need something, Mr. Lightwood?" I asked as politely as I could stand.

"I was just going to walk you out, is that a crime?" he looked a little offended, but I couldn't care less.

"For you, yes it is. Now, if you'll excuse me there are a few things I need to take care of before tomorrow," _including getting away from you_.

"Fine then Ms. Fray, have it your way." He grabbed my hand as I walked slowly past him, "You did well today, I hope to see even more days like this in you." I let go of his shaky hand quickly and made my way to the office doors. I was flustered, but not enough for anyone to notice or care. I said farewell to Isabelle and reminded her about the club tonight.

* * *

><p>Dressed in a black sequin mini cocktail dress and some high stilettos, I meet Simon at his dorm. Helen just got off of her night class and said she would meet us there. I find Simon trying to think of what tie he should wear with his clothing choice. "Simon, do not wear a tie with that," I simply say because it would look weird at the club if he were wearing one.<p>

He was dressed with a blue button up shirt and black slacks. "If you tuck in your shirt, we're good to go!" I smile at him, but his irritation towards me is growing by the second.

We make it to the club just after eight and I don't see Isabelle anywhere. I go to the bar and Simon orders a rum and coke while I simply just get a sprite. The music from the DJ booth is vibrating the whole club and multicolored lights flickered around the room with the beat. I was picturing a lot less people here for a Monday night, but the club was crowded. The club itself wasn't very spacious, but it didn't need to be in order for people to have a good time.

I saw the recognizable Isabelle appear in front of me from the entrance of the club and she was as happy as ever. "Oh my God, you look fabulous! I would never have imagined you looked this hot underneath that teacher vibe you have." I giggled at her and my peripheral vision caught Simon with his jaw open as he stared at Isabelle.

Her skintight purple snakeskin dress looked incredible and I immediately knew I would never be able to pull it off. I told her as much, but she disregarded it completely. "Oh this is my friend Simon," I said as I turned to the side and pulled my best friend over to the black-haired beauty. His hand automatically came up and she met it with a small smile directed at his shyness.

"So are you guys really friends, or is Clary here being modest?"

"Most definitely friends, been there done that. Just a bad idea all around, I don't know how long I was caught up on her before I finally realized it," Simon was nervous and babbling. Isabelle did the nicest thing she could do, she laughed and grabbed his hand dragging him to the middle of the dance floor.

I sat down on the barstool laughing at the way Isabelle was trying to get Simon to dance. His body moved like a robot against her ballet skilled body.

"You know Clary, I'm beginning to wonder just what I'm going to have to do to get you home with me," a husky voice spoke up and my eyes found Mr. Lightwood standing above me. His golden eyes looked glazed and I knew he had been drinking.

"My name is Ms. Fray, and that will never happen, so you can just forget it," I stood my ground.

He kept eye contact with me for a few what felt like hours and then finally he averted his eyes to check me out instead. "Darling, It's going to happen eventually," he stepped closer to me and pried my legs open with his hands. He stood in-between them and bent down to whisper in my ear. "All of those daydreams about me in your bed on top of you…in all those different positions. I'm surprised you didn't jump me the first time you laid eyes on me; heaven knows I've wanted to claim you as mine. This hatred you feel is just pent up sexual attraction towards myself, and if you keep it up you're going to do something highly unprofessional during one of our classes. I just think it's a waste when we could easily go into one of the storage rooms right this second and delete this possible threat from existing. What do you say?" his five-o'clock shadow was rubbing against my cheek as I search with my hand for my forgotten soda. I throw it on his head and he stumbles back, his eyes wild and glaring.

"_Don't be such a prude, live a little for fucks sake!"_ he hissed at me before he got up to go to the bathroom.

"Everything alright miss?" the bartender asked me.

"Oh yes. Actually can I get a vodka on the rocks dirty, please?" I got my mini wallet from my bra and collected my ID to show her I was twenty-one. She smiled at me then turned around to make my drink. I put the money on the table and chugged my drink as fast as my throat would allow. I needed to feel a little dizzy after that. I ended up ordering another one because it wasn't as strong as I wanted it to be.

I was going to need a lot of alcohol to pretend that didn't happen tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>Do you guys like the chapters a little longer or do you like short and sweet? <strong>


	6. The Only Thing You Should Do

**Author's Note: Please review guys :))) It makes me want to write more!**

My night was going great, _well not really_, but I was determined to move past the obviously drunk interaction I had early. After I downed two drinks, girls started buying me more. Paradise Nightclub was a gay bar and I didn't swing that way, but who would refuse free drinks?

Most of the women that came up to me were really sweet and I found myself talking to them easily. I'm not entirely sure if it could be called flirting or not, but it _was_ distracting. After my fifth drink I somehow knew I was done. Instead of finding Simon or Isabelle, I went to the dance floor with the blond babe that had just gotten me a cosmo. I got it down in three seconds flat before I dragged her after me. I forced us into the crowd of hot sweaty bodies until we were in the center.

These girls knew I was straight. It was the first thing I told them when they came up to me. I wasn't about to lead on all of these women, which would have been pure stupidity. Being a girl, I know what I am capable of when I'm pissed off. None of this stopped me from having fun and dancing with complete abandonment of my conscience. I lost feeling of my surroundings and got lost in the music. I let go of everything.

Time fell away from me for a few songs, or I would guess hours, and then reality came crashing in. I was pulled from my bliss and taken outside by someone; I didn't have the energy to see whom it was. The air was chilling, but it wasn't cold. It was refreshing and it cleared my senses. I became fully aware of where I was and what I was doing, but that didn't stop my gasp when I realized who was standing with me.

Mr. Lightwood and those damn tawny eyes. They weren't glazed like before, so I knew he wasn't drunk. That didn't stop the utter shock coursing through my body as I took him in again. He was wearing navy blue dress pants with a light blue button up shirt with a tie matching his pants. He looked like a god. It was completely opposite of what Simon would have looked like. He was staring at me and I stared right back.

"Twice in one night, Mr. Lightwood? Every nerve in my body is telling me to scream and run away. Should I listen?" I ask quietly as I divert my eyes to watch the never-ending traffic.

"There's no need for that. I just wanted to apologize for earlier today and a few hours ago as well. You didn't deserve any of that, and I'm sorry," he said while he searched his pockets for something. He pulled out a carton of cigarettes and a lighter. "Do you want one?" Mr. Lightwood reached out his hand with a cancer stick, offering it to me.

I politely decline but don't hide my disgust and I say, "You shouldn't be smoking. It could kill you."

"Okay," is all he says before he sticks the cigarettes back in his pocket along with his lighter.

I can't help my curious smile when I question him, "It was that easy not to smoke? I'm surprised you didn't tell me to fuck off or something."

"When a beautiful girl is making demands at you, the only thing you should do is listen. Also, you can call me Jace. Only students call me Mr. Lightwood. It makes me feel old."

"Funny, your wife said the exact same thing," I snort at him.

"I'm not sure what bothers me the most about that statement. The fact you said it's funny or that you think I'm married," he's staring incredulously at me now.

I try to add up everything in my head, but I'm not sober enough for any conclusive thinking. Instead I blurt out, "Remember Isabelle and that big ass diamond on her finger? She's in there dancing with another man, meanwhile you're out here telling me I'm beautiful?"

Before I can even blink, Jace is right in front of me looking at me like I'm insane. His eyes soften, as they look me up and down. Almost like I look different depending on the distance between us. He licks his lips before he speaks, "If I was married, we'd be at home in bed making this night memorable. But alas here I am at a gay bar watching over my little sister, because her dick of a fiancée can't be bothered to look after her himself."

I should be affected by this confirmation, but I'm not. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't assume things. Isabelle is your sister?" I ask because I am damn curious. They look nothing alike, in fact I would say everything about them is completely opposite.

He's looking at me funny again and I don't know what to think of it. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?" my hand automatically goes up to my face, but his hand intercepts it.

I don't know if it's the alcohol or my fatigue, but the shock his touch gives me has my body tensing and I snap my hand from his grasp. He looks up at me with guilty eyes and I know he felt nothing.

_Fray, you are clearly a lunatic_.

"No, you're okay. Isabelle, Alec, and Max are my siblings. Isabelle is marrying Sebastian; well they're engaged at least. I hope to anything holy that they don't get married. He doesn't know how good he has it with her. Sebastian doesn't deserve her," he has an odd tone to his voice. The only thing I can think to describe it is pride, and I look up to the stars wishing that Jonathan could love me like that.

My brother would never care enough about me to warn off any of the men I've been with. He's never been there, but I can't think of a time when I've been there either. We've just learned to live without each other.

_I think I need another drink, or perhaps twelve._

"I should get back inside, Simon's probably looking for me," I say with a broken, detached voice.

His hand stops me again, but this time the shock is minimal. It is still there, but it's definitely not as strong as it was. "I simply can't wrap my head around the fact that you have no idea who I am. There isn't a fucking clue in that pretty little redhead of yours," he doesn't sound mad, but there is annoyance clear in his voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"I was practically in love with you and you have no idea who I even am," he put his hand to his heart in mock hurt. "I even put up with being friends with your asshole brother in order to see you everyday. Which never happened by the way, you were never home. That's most likely why you don't remember me. I bet you would give anything to take back whatever you were doing so you could've seen me too." He winks at me and it confuses me further.

"That is so fucked up," is the only thing I say. There were many things I wanted to say, or needed to say but I just couldn't. Nothing sounded right and I didn't have any feelings towards this man in front of me. Even the hatred I felt early has vanished; all I feel is nothing.

I walked away back into the club to find Simon, but I had no desire to go back to the dance floor. I had no craving to stay here any longer, but I walked to an empty barstool anyways. Helen was there talking it up with some girl that I'm pretty sure had gotten me a drink early. I sat next her and laid my head down on the bar until I felt her poke me.

"Clary, are you alright? I haven't seen you all night, did you just get here?" my roommate asks me expectantly.

I debate on if I should tell her just how weird my night has been, but I decide that she doesn't need to know. She's never shared any information of her life to me and I hate that I am so easy to get information from. Helen knows too much about me and I know next to nothing about her. "Yeah, I've been dancing and drinking a lot. Not the best combination. I think I'm going to head back to our dorm, will you tell Simon I left?" I do my best to sound sick or super drunk.

Either way she buys it and nods. She hands me my set of keys I asked her to keep in her clutch earlier today. Helen turns her seat so it's facing the crowd of people dancing. "Who is that girl anyway? He's been with her since I got here." I follow her gaze and find that she's watching Simon with Isabelle. Then I decide that tomorrow I'm going to beat him to a pulp.

"Right, well I'm going to head out. I'll see you when you get home or no?" I give her my _are you gonna get laid_ look.

She responds by winking at me and I giggle before hopping off my seat. I leave the club and head back to my dorm. I probably should have called for a taxi, but I wanted the time to think. My keychain pepper spray was in my hand just in case anyone bothered me while I walked home. Though living in California was a lot different than New York. Old habits die hard.

It doesn't take very long to get there and I am aware of the sudden feeling that I'm being watched, but when I turn around I can't see anything out of the ordinary. I'm a little bothered, but I shake the feeling off and unlock my door.

I make sure to deadbolt the door before I head to bed in what I'm wearing, not bothering to change.

My mind is racing in result to what Jace was saying. There's absolutely no way I knew him, and there's no way he knew me either. He must be confused, but then again how many other Clarys are there? I don't really recall any of Jon's friends, but I definitely don't remember any of them being as hot as Jace. But there was that one senior guy who bought my first painting. I never knew what he looked like, but his name was Wayland

There's no way Jace bought my painting, he has made it very clear he thinks my art is stupid. He thought he was in love with me? _Clearly!_ How can you love a person you've never spoken to?

_I don't get it and I don't think I ever will. _

I finally give in to sleep replaying the feeling of shock I got when he touched me, wondering just how bad my luck is.


	7. Makers of Our Own Destruction

I finally changed my ringtone, but the constant ringing is making me want to throw it in the closest toilet. Ron Pope's "Lick My Wounds" was replaying for the seventh time when I got my phone out of my pocket. I stared at the picture of my mother and me at Christmas with our ugly sweaters on. We look almost like twins, but my mother has darker curls than me and a more beautiful face. Ever since I can remember she was everything I wanted to be. Growing up my dreams have changed and my judgment is all mixed up. I clicked the red option and put my head into my hands.

I hate myself for saying this, but our relationship has been strained since she married Luke. It's been years, but I have not felt close to her like I did when I was a little girl. When she lived with us, the house was always so warm and then when she left everything turned cold. All of things I loved to do just weren't the same after she abandoned us. Of course she didn't just get up and leave one day, it was a long time coming. My parents used to fight most of the time, but we were still a family. It hurt so much when my family was taken away from me, and I didn't have anyone to get me through it.

The night she left, it was storming outside. I remember because I was sobbing just as hard as the wind was howling. New York City is normally so bright, but the power was out that night, on the worst night of my life. I was twelve years old and I couldn't stop crying long enough to catch my breath. I was lying face down in my pillow to help silence my screams when my brother put his arms around my broken form. He was holding onto to me just as tight as I was, and I felt the tears falling down his face as well. We needed each other that night, but ever since then we don't communicate. That night was the one and only night I cried for my family. Jonathan and I have never spoken about that night either, he would just shrug it off anyhow.

My stepfather, Luke, is a great man and I am so happy they found each other, but for the sake of my brother and me, I wish she had waited a few more years. Perhaps then Jonathan would think of me as the sister I was supposed to be. Instead he will always hate me because of my resemblance to my mother. He will never confide in me like that night, simply because he can't stand to look at me long enough.

_We are the makers of our own destruction after all_.

It's ironic because that was the tagline to my first painting. My first year of high school was difficult, not just because I didn't know anybody, but because I didn't care to know anyone. I barely managed to pass my classes at the academy my freshman year. Moving away from New York had been the worst thing I could imagine, especially since I had applied to a city school that had one of the most well developed art programs to date. My parent's divorce didn't just ruin me; it ruined my chances of being what I wanted to be.

When I escaped into that big messy room on the first day of school, I started painting. My hand knew by heart exactly what I wanted to say. All of my emotions were taken in by that painting and within a week I had finished it. The teacher was thrilled with me and I was well on my way to becoming her personal favorite. I spent every spare second I had on pouring my soul into another project, knowing this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

There's this feeling you get when you've given everything you had into something and finishing it. That first picture of my fucked up life and this fucked up world we live in was perhaps my greatest thought. I've never had a deeper connection with a painting and when I sold it, that person got a part of my soul with them. I don't regret selling it, because that's the whole point of creating something for the world to see.

Now I get to write a PowerPoint about the Russian Revolution, _how lucky am I?_

I pick up my lunch that has been neglected for the past twenty minutes and start nibbling on my sandwich. The huge hangover I woke up with wasn't doing anything to help my appetite. I tried to bring last night up in a conversation with Mr. Lightwood, but I was shut down before I even said a word. The glare in his expression had me wanting to run for the hills. He jumped out of his chair when the lunch bell rang and I haven't seen him since. All day he's been talking to me and helping me, but as soon as the class leaves the room so does his interest. It was frustrating me, because I wanted nothing better than to run away too.

I still had half of the lunch period to talk to my mom, but her persistent calling didn't go unnoticed. I pick my phone up immediately the next time it rings, "Yes, Mom what is it?"

"…Clary?" she sounds borderline petrified.

"Mom, it's me. I'm fine; I've just been up to my eyeballs in all things teacher related. I can't talk to you all the time anymore, I've got a lot of things I need to get done," I feel guilty shutting her down, but I don't have the willpower to deal with her today.

"Oh, alright sweetheart I understand. Just promise me you won't forget me when you have a classroom of your own?" she asks me quietly over the phone. It brings me back to a time when she used the say the same thing, but instead of classroom she would say studio. Tears start to form in my eyes, but I bite down on my tongue as hard as I can to prevent them from falling.

"You know I won't, Mom. Love you. Talk to you soon," I hang up not knowing if she even responded or not.

I drop my phone in my lap and look down at myself in hate. I take a deep breath before I finish my abandoned lunch and start grading papers. The juniors wrote a few paragraphs about the Boston Tea Party, and I just needed to skim through and see if they understood it. To be honest, I'm barely reading them. I took off a few points for wrong names used, but other than that I gave most of them hundreds. I have no desire to be one of those teachers that doesn't care, but I don't want to care too much either.

I had no idea being a teacher was so freaking stressful.

_Fuck it_, I'm going to Starbucks. I clean everything up on my desk and make separate piles for things graded and what I have left to grade. Once it's semi organized, I grab my coat off the back of my chair and my bag and make my way to the door to lock it. There's still no sign of Golden boy anywhere so I walk towards the main office. Isabelle is there, but she doesn't look happy at all. _Simon, what the hell did you do?!_

I smile at her when I approach her desk, but I can tell from her reluctance to look me in the eyes that I am the last person she wants to see. I keep this meeting short and say, "Hey Isabelle, I'm leaving for a bit. Will you tell Mr. Lightwood that I'll be back, if he asks? Which I doubt he will, but just in case?" I beg her.

She still doesn't look at me, "Yeah sure Clary, anything." She sounds really broken and I have the urge to hug her, but of course I don't. I decided that I'm bringing her a macchiato.

I leave the office, but not before I see Mr. Bane with that woman at the front doors. He didn't notice me and my horrifying shocked face, so I went to the nearest hallway hoping there was another exit. I go to the end of the hallway and find a door, _oh sweet Jesus_. I practically throw myself at the door and turn the handle. It's locked.

_But really what was I expecting? I'm being really stupid about all of this. So they were having sex at school, what's the big deal?_

The "at school" part is what makes me cringe. I try the handle again, but it's still locked. I sigh loudly and straighten my clothing and start walking again. I notice the paint spattered door and I stop instinctively. The lights are off and I try the door, but it's locked. I get my key out of my pocket and try it in the handle, and it works!

I laugh out loud and I open the door and turn on the light. There are canvases located throughout the room. One corner is just mountains of different paint, paintbrushes, clay, pencils, and everything else you would ever need. I drop my bag on the floor in surprise and jump from the sound it makes. I walk around the room, touching everything in sight. I had forgotten the feelings I got when I walked into our art room at the academy, but everything is coming back to me now.

There's only one empty canvas and it's near the teacher's desk. I assume it's Kaelie's and I take a seat there anyway. I see it in my head before I can even grasp what I want to paint. I get a brush and the colors I need before my hands take over. I'm not even close to being a quarter of the way done with the sky when the bell rings and I need to leave. I put away everything, grab my things, and lock the door as quickly as I can.

I don't see anyone in the hallways coming this way so I start to walk back to room 87. I take a quick look at my hands and notice there are paint marks. Before exiting the hallway, I take a detour into the girl's bathroom and wash my hands to get rid of any evidence that I was in the art room.

I walk right past the main office, but Isabelle doesn't even look at me. I really hope whatever happened with Simon wasn't too bad. I realize she's getting married, and knowing Simon, I hope he didn't take last night out of proportion.

"What's the matter, Clary?" I stop dead in my tracks and turn around.

Golden is looking at me, but I don't stick around to talk to him. I make my way back to the classroom and start getting my things together for the last few classes. The students coming into the room are seniors and this class is all about the United States Government and all its functions. I begin the class by lecturing and I never make one attempt to catch Mr. Lightwood's eye, but I can feel his stare through my whole lecture. I leave the kids a few minutes in class to start an assignment I gave them from the book, because I hate talking for an entire class.

The seniors are the worst at participating, not surprisingly, so I've been trying to come up with a system to get them to raise their hands more often. I keep thinking about a game like the game show, Jeopardy, but I have no idea how to do that on this computer or my own. Alec would have to help me with it.

"Ms. Fray?" the intercom comes on loud from above us.

"Yes?" I answer loudly enough so that the speaker picks it up.

"Your package arrived, can you please come to the office?" the voice, clearly an annoyed Isabelle, asks me.

I bite my lip and think about what it could be. "Yes, I'll be there after the bell rings."

Her persistent voice disregards me, "Now would be better!" I roll my eyes in response and look to Mr. Lightwood for help. He just nods at me and I am excused.

I walk into the office and balloons are surrounding me. _What the hell?_

Attempting to find Isabelle, I manage to step on a few making loud booming noises. I hear a scream and follow it finding her behind her desk, sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest. She looks downright frightened and I bend down to let her know it's me.

"Isabelle, are you alright? What is all this crap?" she doesn't answer me, but she points to a gift-wrapped box on the floor next to her.

"It'll probably start singing," she says in the most sarcastic voice I've ever heard. I laugh at her and she starts giggling. I just ignore the box and sit down next to her. "Your father is a scary dude. He came in here and just started throwing balloons everywhere. I don't even know where to put all of them. We're going to have to pop them. Ugh." I put my arm around her stressed out shoulders and let her rest her head on my shoulder.

"So, my father was here?" I ask after a few minutes of silence. My voice doesn't sound too thrilled, which is an understatement.

"Yes and so was your brother…they're like twins, both equally terrifying and rude. Is it your birthday or something? Why the fuss?" she sounds so distressed. I pick up a balloon and put in my lap and start messing with it.

"I think this is a present for this job, I'm not entirely sure to be honest. They're always doing things like this. Jonathan wouldn't have any part of it if my father didn't drag him along like a dog. My father wants me to be his little minion; Jonathan just isn't enough for him so he has to have me too. He keeps trying to win me over through countless acts of affection, but nothing they can say or do will make up for what they've done," I explain. She nods at me in understanding, but she doesn't ask any other questions and I'm thankful. I pop the balloon in my hands and Isabelle jumps next to me.

She shoves me, "Do not do that! You could've given me a heart attack!" I grin at her and grab the neglected box and unwrap it carefully.

_Father, what the absolute fuck!?_

A brand new Macbook Pro is in front of me. What the hell is wrong with this man? He bought me a computer four years ago before I started college. This must be an apology gift for sticking me in this hellhole. Mmm…I could always sell it and use the money to run away to Fiji.

I'm daydreaming of white beaches and palm trees was an unfamiliar man comes into my line of view, looking _very_ pissed off. I'm suddenly in the most awkward situation possible, because I just have a feeling I'm about to witness a major fight.

"Oh, hello Isabelle. Do you remember who I am? _Your fiancée?!_ I thought it was bad enough that you ignore my phone calls, but now I come to find out that you're whoring it out at some nightclub with some guy you just met!" I make a sideways glance at Isabelle, but she's a complete mess. I am _so_ uncomfortable, _why did I have to be here right now?!_

"I've had enough Isabelle. I'm tired of playing this same old game with you. _I'm done_." Way to let her down easy, bud.

He's gone before I can really process what is happening. Isabelle is sitting next to me sobbing and I pull her into me, praying that Jace or Alec comes to the office just to take over. If there's one thing I'm horrible at, it's consoling people. This is the last thing I wanted to be a part of today, but what choice do I have?

**Hi guys :) I want you to tell me what your thoughts are of Jonathan and Sebastian. Do you feel compassionate towards them?**


	8. I'm The Man

It had been five minutes, and I already had a migraine from Isabelle's sobs. I rubbed her back gently, but in my head there was a debate on how to run away the quickest. _Ugh, it doesn't seem like she is going to stop anytime soon._ I've been dumped before, but never like this. I don't know if I would ever react to it like Isabelle did, but I can imagine the pain she must be in.

I decided to weigh my options and came up with: I could get up and run, I could sit here forever listening to her wail (which could damage my ear drums), or I could get word to Alec to come here and switch me places.

"Isabelle, where's your phone?" I asked her loudly in her ear to make sure she hears me.

"–car" I sigh loudly as she continues to cry.

_Think, Fray, think. What's the fastest way to get him here without leaving?_

My eyes directly move to the big, old intercom across the room. I glance down at Isabelle and hear another sob and automatically I am across the room in seconds. Surely, having an intercom this large isn't necessary? All it does is intimidate the people who have to use it.

To even reach the buttons, I had to use a stool. That is barbaric, why is this a thing? Looking at all the buttons, I was confused at everything. I had no idea which ones were for which rooms. I took a look back at Isabelle, whom had moved into a fetal position since I left.

"Okay, Fray, you got this," I whispered to myself as I took my hands together and cracked my knuckles.

There was a microphone so all I had to figure out was which button to press to get me to Alec. Instead of numbers, they were labeled with letters. I tried to calculate which letter it was, but I wasn't even sure which room I was supposed to contact.

I sighed and just decided to click the big red switch; I assumed this meant it would broadcast to all of the intercoms in the building. I paused for a moment in disbelief at myself before stuttering, "uh…sorry for the in–interruption. Can Mr. Lightwood please come to the office, it's urgent." I clicked the big red switch off.

I quickly jumped down from the step and returned to Isabelle, placing her head in my lap as I played with her hair. It didn't take very long to hear the obvious pop of a balloon and I knew someone had walked in. Alec came into view above me and I praised heaven above as I switched places with him forcefully.

Just as I was pushing Alec into the position I had just been in, Jace walks in like a bat out of hell. Isabelle doesn't even seem to understand what's happening or that there are people even in the room with her. I stand there and stare at him, not knowing how to react to his sudden anger.

His impossibly perfect face is terrifying as it gets red. "Why did you call me here after you just left? Are you insane? Clearly you don't understand the concept of watching over children."

"Whoa, what? I didn't even mean to call _you_ here. I was trying to get Alec, and he's here now, so you can go and be an asshole somewhere else," I responded, but I regretted it completely the second I said it.

He doesn't seem to believe that I actually said that, and neither can I. "Excuse me?"

"Well do you really blame her, Jace? You've been nothing _but_ an asshole since she's been here. It's not her fault everything bad has been happening to you," Alec spoke up and defended me.

He didn't seem to be intimidated of his brother like I was. I imagine that everyone is intimidated of Jace when they first meet him. I mean, I met him yesterday and I'm still terrifyingly scared of him.

"Alec, this matter doesn't concern you. I am supposed to be her boss and her she is using vulgar language at me. I will not accept this and will report this to Magnus," Jace looked from Alec to me as he spoke. I was freaking out because my father would have my head on a platter if I were to ever be kicked out of this place.

Alec scoffed and retorted, "Oh, would you just _shut up_? No one wants to hear your 'I'm a professional charade' we all know it's just an act for _Daddy_. Ever since you've been here, all you do is never show up, and then act like an angel when you do. It's gotten old very quickly, Jace," he was clearly pissed. Jace looked shocked and his mouth was open in awe. Even Isabelle had stopped crying and was staring at her brother with his arms around her.

Alec took a deep breath and continued attempting to comfort his sister. Jace finally looked up and closed his mouth to glance at me. Realizing that I was still in the room, a scowl appeared on his face; it was almost like it was reserved for me. "Clary, please, go back to the room. I'll meet you there when I deal with this. What the hell is with the balloons by the way?" he asks me through his glare.

"Oh, this is my father's idea of a congratulations," I said sardonically.

Jace examined the room again and then the nasty expression slowly went away from his face. "So, your father is the reason Isabelle is crying right now?"

"No, Sebastian is responsible for your sister's current state," I explained, and he had some sort of revelation because he started biting his lip. The sobs from Isabelle started again and I groaned a little. I took a few steps toward Jace and whispered in his ear, "He broke up with her."

I moved a few inches away so I could see his face. It morphed into one of pure horror and then he grabbed my hand and started making his way out of the office. His hand gave mine that now familiar shock and I didn't flinch away.

The bell had rung and Jace guided me to the teacher's lounge to get away from the students. We didn't have any other classes to teach, so we had plenty of time for him to tell me whatever he needed to.

When he opened the door and stepped to the side to let me through first. I took a first look into the room. There was a long table with chairs for faculty to eat and cupboards along the walls. There was a couch, but no television in one of the corners. The coffee maker was empty but needed cleaning. I went over there to put it in the sink, but Jace stopped me. "There's a rule about the coffee here. Whoever makes the first pot has to clean it."

I apologized, but he just smiles at me slightly. I followed him over to the couch. I didn't know where to sit so I just sat on one side while he sat on the other. Jace laughed at me but I shot him a defiant stare and he stopped.

"I think I'm the reason this all happened…" he confessed.

My eyes found his guilty ones and my curious side said, "Okay, explain please."

"After you left the club last ni–" he was interrupted by his phone ringing from his pocket. His ringtone was "The Man" by Aloe Blacc.

I rolled my eyes and asked, "Are you really that obnoxious?"

He responded by singing the song, "Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am." I laughed at him and he grinned at me.

He answered the phone, but he wasn't grinning any longer. "Are you going to explain to me how Sebastian found out about the club last night?" The voice on the phone sounded whiny so I assumed it was a woman. "I don't want to hear your excuses, Kaelie. You had no right to butt into their relationship, no matter how much she annoys you. You just broke up a two year relationship, how does that make you feel?" The whiney voice got even whinier as she attempted to apologize. Jace would have none of it. "I thought you were a little crazy, but now I know, you're fucking mental." He hangs up and grips the phone tightly until his knuckles are white.

I'm not really sure what to do. He isn't talking and I'm just sitting here watching him get angrier by the second. I could just get up and leave, but I would hate myself if I did that. I finally scoot over until I'm right next to him. He didn't seem to notice that I moved at all.

I put my hands around his tight grip. Impossibly, his grip seemed to tighten even more. I really didn't want him to break his phone so I whispered, "Jace, it's alright. Okay, just breathe." I squeeze my hands lightly around his and his grasp loosens significantly. I grab the phone and throw it on the couch away from him.

His golden eyes are searching for mine, but I don't look at him. I keep my gaze on our hands and after a few seconds I move those away from him too. All contact we had is lost, but his nearness is still affecting me. All I can smell is old coffee and his cologne, but it's the best thing I've ever smelled.

Suddenly the awkwardness sets in and I'm left sitting there in uncomfortable silence, Jace never speaks once and neither do I. At some point, I find the energy to get up to leave and he doesn't stop me. I decided to just forget all the craziness that happened today and deal with it tomorrow. Though I am very curious about Simon and his part in all this. I decided to send him a text before I leave the parking lot.

_Dude, what did I miss last night?_


	9. October 17

Author's Note: Okay guys, I AM SO SORRY. I've been so busy lately, and honestly my motivation was lacking big time. I know it's short; it's just the way it had to be. I'll be updating "The Circle" next, so if you read that, keep your eyes open for it :). Sorry again guys, please don't hate me! ****hides under a rock****

***Earlier that day***

**Alec POV**

"Yes, Mr. Morgenstern, I'm one hundred percent sure this new software will be simple enough for your daughter to understand. Clary has been getting along just fine with the loner computer she has been using. She only comes by to ask questions occasionally, but she really_ is_ getting it," this man really didn't think his daughter was capable of anything. He stormed into my office twenty minutes ago demanding me to check out a brand new computer, he had gotten for her.

See, what Valentine didn't seem to comprehend was, when you get a new computer, the software is always up-to-date. I've just been repeating the same thing over and over again. If my dad weren't a friend to this man, I would've kicked him out by now.

I switched over most of the files from her other computer. I made sure that she backed up her files, because her father warned me about the new laptop a week ago. Her old computer seemed to be perfectly fine to me. I might offer to buy it from her for the parts; I needed another hard drive to put into my pc.

The way Mr. Morgenstern's son was standing by the door glaring at me was not making this encounter any easier. Jonathan and Valentine Morgenstern looked so alike it was sometimes hard to remember they were different people. Valentine had very few wrinkles, so it was easy to become confused. I went to school with Jonathan, but I don't remember him having many friends. I know Jace spent some time with him, but they never talked again after graduation. Sometimes you're only friends with people because you see them five times a week. Hell, sometimes you're only interested in someone because you see him every day.

"Thank you, Alec. I will be sure to update your father about how informative you have been. I appreciate you helping out my daughter, and can only hope you will continue to do so in the future?" the bleach-haired man brought his hand out for me to shake. I met his gesture and smiled slightly. I nodded, but I knew Clary would never need my help. She wouldn't ask even if she did. I've known her for two days and I'm already positive she can take care of herself.

I walked over towards the door and opened it for the two men. Jonathan hadn't said a word the entire time and I valued his silence. I remember how opinionated he used to be in class and I did not want a repeat of that. As we walked through the school, I could feel eyes staring at me. It was lunchtime, so the hallways weren't vacant and a little hard to walk through. I normally try to avoid leaving my office around this time. Students rarely come in to see me so I never have to deal with much confrontation.

I walked the pair of men towards the front doors, but something caught my eye as I watched them leave. In the opposite doorway, Magnus was sucking face with Ms. Belcourt, who worked at the elementary school down the street. I was getting really sick of him doing this. It has become his main mission in life for the past few months to show off his newest hookups. Every single day I run into him and this week he has been with Camille, whom apparently is very handsy.

There is nothing I would want more than for him to stop bothering me. As of late, Isabelle has become suspicious of me, and if she ever found out, I don't know what I would do. My family is the most important thing I have, and if I lost it…I'm not sure I could survive that.

I fucked everything up on October 17th. He asked for my help while he made a report for one of the school board members, and his computer kept freezing. I helped him finish the report in about twenty minutes, but we stayed talking for a few hours. We talked about our families, whether or not we wanted our own, and why we both felt like we were stuck here.

Then he started talking about his fucking cat and the look in his eyes made me smile. I couldn't remember the last time I smiled just from the happiness of others. I'd never felt so much need with anyone. It was impossible to contain myself, so I kissed him. I hate myself for that, and I regret it completely.

I wouldn't regret it if Magnus weren't such an ass about it. After that kiss, I left immediately. I couldn't process what had happened, and I still question it. After that day I never brought it up again, but Magnus wouldn't let me off that easy. He parades his newest trophy around school every week, but they're all women. It doesn't make me jealous, just very pissed off.

I wish I could be the guy he wants me to be. To be able to walk right up to him, and kiss him right now in front of the whole school and every camera so my father has a front row seat, _but that just isn't me._ Seeing him with all of these women makes me so angry. The very first time, I wanted to kill him for even thinking it would make me _jealous_. Like he was a little bully on the playground using my favorite swing to spite me. The more I think about it these days, the angrier I get.

Sitting in my office, listening to sad emo music is how I was spending my afternoon when the intercom came on above me. I become alert when Isabelle's voice doesn't come on. Clary sounded really freaked out, and that was enough to have me practically running to the main office.

Now in my general pissed mood, which has become a daily routine because of Magnus Bane, I have to go deal with my sister. I noticed her foul disposition earlier, but I ignored it, hoping it would eventually go away. Add that to the list of my regrets, and underline then highlight it.

Walking into the office, I became aware of the balloons. Morgenstern really outdid himself, the balloons were _everywhere_. As I made my way through, I stepped on a few of them and they popped loudly.

I saw my sister before I heard her. Her body was shaking from her consistent sobs. I had only seen her like this once before, when she was in a car accident with Max a few years ago. For a couple of hours, we had thought he was going to die. Isabelle would never have forgiven herself if he had. Sebastian had been there for her every second, so I assume that is why she is upset now. The bastard must of left her.

Before I can even put my thoughts together, I am being dragged to my sister. Clary puts me in the same position she was in, with Izzy's head in my lap. I was uncomfortable with the similarities between this current situation and five years ago. Every second was replaying in my head, along with the feeling of anger towards Sebastian. It was growing and growing, and I knew I was about to blow up when Jace walked in.

When he said something to Clary that sounded remotely offensive, I just wanted to yell at him. I held my tongue because I remembered Clary could stand her ground. I was right, because she then called Jace an asshole in response.

"Excuse me?" Jace's voice sounded really high-pitched. I would've made fun of him if I weren't so damn mad.

I decide it's time to give Clary some back up. "Well do you really blame her, Jace? You've been nothing _but_ an asshole since she's been here. It's not her fault everything bad has been happening to you."

Jace was having enough problems as it was with his birth parents. Stephen and Celiné Herondale were doing everything in their power to make sure Jace wasn't happy. Celiné was sixteen when she got pregnant with Jace. He was raised in foster care until he was six when my parents adopted him after I became best friends with him. Lately the Herondales just won't leave him alone, but he would never go to the police because a part of him still loves them. Jace tries to ignore them, because he doesn't want to hurt our parents by telling them the truth. We have tried a million times to get him to tell my dad, but he just won't. He has always looked for my father's approval, and he has always gotten it. He would hate to see that approval vanish.

"Alec, this matter doesn't concern you. I am supposed to be her boss and her she is using vulgar language at me. I will not accept this and will report this to Magnus," Jace retorted, trying to get me out of the conversation. He was just trying to make Clary feel like a child who got caught sneaking cookies from the cookie jar. He would never actually report her, but him even mentioning Magnus made me ten times more pissed off.

"Oh, would you just _shut up_? No one wants to hear your 'I'm a professional charade' we all know it's just an act for _Daddy_. Ever since you've been here, all you do is never show up and then act like an angel when you do. It's gotten old very quickly, Jace," I see Jace look at me in complete surprise, like I just slapped him. To be fair, I shouldn't have pulled the _daddy_ card, which was low of me.

Isabelle looked up at me with sad eyes. I knew I should not have said what I did, but it was a fight for another day. I moved my hands to my sister's hair, like I used to do when we were kids and pulled my hands through it. She started to cry again and I rubbed her back. I stopped listening to Jace fight with Clary, and eventually they left the room. To be honest, they sounded like an old married couple.

I couldn't really pinpoint how long I sat there with Izzy. I waited until the final bell rang and kids were crowding the halls, before I helped her up. She stopped crying a while ago and we just stayed there in peaceful silence. She smiled up at me before I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I checked my messages.

The newest one was from the very man where all my problems surfaced from: Magnus Bane.

_Alec, we need to talk._


	10. Here I Go Again

**Songs that inspired this chapter: Here It Goes Again by OK Go**

**PLEASE REVIEW GUYS, I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU. **

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><p><strong>Jace POV<strong>

It's been a week since the teacher's lounge. I wish I could say that the teenage feelings I held for Ms. Fray expired a long time ago, but truthfully they just took a pause. The boy I used to be had no idea what these feelings even were. When I met my first real girlfriend, Aline, at college, I thought that was what I had been looking for with Clary.

I loved Aline, but when she left last year, my feelings left with her. I was sad, but I was fine. When Clary left me all alone last week, I was anything but fine. Everything Izzy was going through, was exactly what I was feeling every second I wasn't in my classroom, teaching alongside my favorite redhead.

This situation was eerily similar to years ago when I first was infatuated with Ms. Fray, or better yet Ms. Morgenstern, for that is what she went by back then.

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><p><em>I cannot believe I'm doing this. <em>Nothing has ever gotten me so intrigued like this one girl. Just a red headed, tiny little girl. She was young, way too young for me to be interested in her. Yet, here I am, standing in the middle of her living room.

The huge, tan room had barely any pictures hanging on the walls. Jonathan had said before that his mom wasn't around anymore, but this house feels empty. I wanted nothing more then to go back home, but I was on a mission. It won't take long, just a couple of weeks of hanging out with a piece of shit, and learning to hold my tongue around him. These next few weeks would most likely use up all of my self-control.

Girls have never been a problem for me. I can just show up somewhere and there's a girl waiting for me. When I actually come to school, there's always a group of them waiting for me by my locker. Senior year was a joke; all of my classes were pointless. Well except for my painting class. The teacher doesn't force me to participate since it's an elective, so I spend the whole time staring at Clary, watching her work her magic. How a freshman was able to get into a senior class, I will never know, but I'm so glad she did.

If she saw me right now, I'd be titled a stalker with good reason. I was currently staring at one of her grade school pictures. She didn't have any front teeth and her hair was in pigtails with huge blue bows. What I loved most about it were her freckles, they were scattered and covered most of her face. Her emerald eyes were sparkling and I realized just how pretty she actually was.

This wasn't just a conquest anymore. I want her and I don't know how long I can stand not having her. I forced myself away from the picture and met Jonathan in the kitchen. He was scarfing down a sandwich when I walked in, but he grunted a greeting to me. I decided to play dumb and ask some questions I already knew the answers to.

"Who's that girl in those pictures?" I was attempting to mask my interest, but it was harder than I expected.

It took him a while to answer, because he still had food in his mouth but when he was finished he said, "Just my little sister, don't worry she's not here. She hates it here."

"I take it you two don't get along too well then?" I mean I hate it here too; I don't blame her at all. How could anyone live in a place that is so _cold_?

He smirked a little, but it looked forced. "Oh, you know how it is with siblings. We hate each other most of the time and love each other sometimes too." Apparently I didn't know how it was with siblings, because we never _hated_ each other. I can recall a million times where I was pissed at Izzy, but I would die for her. I can't imagine Jonathan being very protective of Clary.

I didn't want the conversation to end this quickly, so I asked another stupid question, "How old is she?"

He didn't answer at first; it was like he didn't know. "She's fifteen, but we haven't gotten along since mom left. I swear she is just a replica of that vile woman. My father tries really hard to spend time with her, but it's really hard for him, even though he'd never admit it. I know that as soon as she graduates, she's gone, but my father will do everything in his power to make sure that doesn't happen," he explained. Jonathan then got up and left the room. I followed him realizing this was the end of the conversation.

Jonathan didn't seem to know much about his sister, and it almost seemed that he didn't even care about what happened to her. I couldn't imagine that happening with Izzy and me. We were practically best friends, and I don't know what I would do without her.

I followed Jonathan to his room and played video games with him for a while, but I lied and said I needed to go to the bathroom. I left his room and walked to the nearest bedroom and opened the door. It was completely cliché of me, but I couldn't resist.

Art covered the walls to the point where I couldn't even tell what color the walls actually were. The big purple bed was unmade and clothes were all over the floor. There were a few posters with the paintings and drawings. The vanity was covered in makeup, nail polish, and art supplies.

The bookcase on the right side of the bed held what looked like a thousand books. Some of the spines were old and made of leather, but others were paperback and from this millennium. I brushed my fingertips across them, as I continued my walk through her room. There was a piece of folded up paper on the floor in front of the bookshelf. As I bent down to pick it up, I noticed it was addressed to Clary in barely-legible handwriting and the date said a few weeks ago.

Inside the note read: _I wish I could've thought of a better way to get your attention. You seem to be the most complicated girl I have ever wanted to know. Before I make a complete fool of myself, I'm going to leave this note in your locker. The homecoming dance is next week and I know the only way I would ever go, is if you'd be there right next to me. If you want to go with me, tape this to your locker, so I know where I stand with you. Simon. _

Too late kid, you made a very big fool of yourself. Talk about the most boring way to ask someone to a dance. If I had done all of this a month ago, I may have saved her the torment of spending quality time with this wimp.

If I were him, I would've waited until after school and left a fake candle in her locker with a note that read, "_You may need this. Follow the candles to our destiny."_ At every hallway corner, I would have a lighted candle waiting until it reached the library, where the word homecoming would be spelled out in books surrounded by a plethora of lighted candles. She'd come in and see it, and I'd be right behind her with a bouquet of red roses, waiting for her to say yes.

I've spent way too long stalking through Clary's room; I know her brother will say something when I get back. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and it's a text from Alec. _Dude, you better get home. Izzy's in trouble. _

I quickly made my way back to Jonathan's room. He was in the same position as when I left.

"Hey man, I gotta go. My mom's freaking out. I'll see you tomorrow at practice," I tried to sound chill, but I'm worried about Isabelle. She does this shit all the time. Always trying to be a rebel and finding a new way to break rules. She's been good since she started dating Sebastian, but I guess that streak has ended.

When I get to my black Mercedes outside, I call Alec. His voicemail picks it up the first time, and the second and third. I finally get him the fourth time, "Jace, it's bad. Izzy was in a car accident."

"What? _Holy shit,_ is she alright?"

"Yeah she's fine, b–bu–but Max was with her…" his voice breaks and I know it's bad.

"Where are you?"

"The hospital. Dad's working on him. Please, hurry," he says before he hangs up and I'm left with a storm in my heart and rage on my mind.

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><p>Looking at her now, as she lectures her way around my classroom, makes me wonder how much better off I would have been if she had been with me during that period of my life. I remember feeling so helpless I wanted to hurt myself, but I realized how stupid that would have been.<p>

Those few hours when Max wasn't going to make it, were the hardest I have ever lived through. I did everything I possibly could to get my thoughts together. I got drunk, raged to God about how unfair he is, and called my birth father to scream at him for putting me through this. If he 'd kept me, I would never have to go through that much pain.

That was the worst mistake I have ever made. I should never have let my birth parents find out I knew about them. If I could go back in time, I'd go back and change it all. I'd go back and slap my adolescent self in the face for never interacting with Clary, because I have wasted so much time tiptoeing around her. I should be there every morning kissing her and showing her that she is everything good in the world.

I open my desk drawer and look at the rose I bought for her this morning. She'd never know what it meant, but to me this was a step in the right direction to being with the girl of my dreams. Not many people get a second chance like the one I have gotten, and I think it's about time I start taking advantage of the moment. Seizing the day and all that shit.


	11. Roses Die

**Wow guys…first of all I AM SO SORRY. I never meant for this chapter to take as long as it did and I could list a whole bunch of excuses, but that's annoying so I'm just going to say I'm sorry. I am currently writing the next chapter so it should definitely not take very long. **

"Okay, since we haven't spent much time discussing this, can anyone tell me anything about the presidents of the United States?" I asked the students that were still awake. None of them seemed to have heard me, but I didn't want to talk to myself for an entire hour.

I see one hand come up from the back of the room. It's Aline, a senior girl whose favorite hobby is to make my life more complicated than it already is. A couple of days ago, Mr. Lightwood left the room for a few minutes and she raised her hand just to tell me how stupid I am. I've learned from overhearing her conversations that she takes really low blows when she insults people. It makes me wonder just what her life is like and why she acts like such a bitch. The entire class stared at her, but, weirdly enough, no one laughed to encourage her. I knew that she would only behave this overly sweet way as long as Jace was here, but I decided to treat her as I would treat any of the students.

"Yes, Aline, what fun facts do you know about the presidents?" I asked her in my best teacher voice with a great, big fake smile.

"Abraham Lincoln was the sixteenth president of the United States," she smiled like she held the entire world in her hands, and all I wanted in that moment was to see her world crushed.

I laughed under my breath and said, "Thank you for that, but that's not the kind of facts I was looking for." She glared at me in response.

"Well, maybe you should have specified, Ms. Fray. How were we supposed to know what you meant? Mr. Lightwood always expl–"

"I think what Ms. Fray asked for was a pretty simple answer. You guys are seniors; you should know what order the presidents are in. Knowing one of them isn't anything special. Aline, can I see you out in the hallway for a minute?" Jace stood up as he was speaking, then she followed him outside the room. She gave me a defiant stare as I watched her leave the room.

"Now that we have taken care of _that_, I want you all to know fun things about the presidents. Did any of you know that one of the presidents got stuck in a white house bathtub? They had to break the tub to help get him out," I explained. The class laughed and one of the boys, who had been sleeping previously, raised his hand.

"Is that really true?" he asked in the most shocked voice, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well I am not one hundred percent positive, but President Taft was the 27th President and he is the reason the tubs in the White House are gigantic." The class laughed in response, and I decided to use my useless information to bring this class back to life.

"Okay, I'm going to start with a couple and I want all of you to come to class tomorrow with a fact from each of the presidents I assign you. Feel free to be creative, but let's keep it non-sexual please. Mr. Herondale may be young, but I don't want him to have a heart attack just yet." I put my finger to my chin in dramatic thought. "Okay, since I told you all to keep it non-sexual, I'll get those out of the way. John Quincy Adams enjoyed skinny-dipping daily in the Potomac River. Reagan won a contest where he got to stand in front of an art class almost nude, so that he could model for them, I'm very thankful it wasn't one of mine. Taylor had the nickname, 'Old Rough and Ready', and I'm sure that he got along just _great_ with the ladies because of it. Coolidge had a morning ritual where someone would rub Vaseline on his head while he ate breakfast in bed, that one doesn't deserve a comment. And President Johnson would have his guests follow him to the bathroom so that they could carry on their conversations. Let me just tell you that is disgusting " The class chuckled and after I said the one about President Coolidge they just about died laughing. I smiled wide as I watched because it felt good to see them enjoy class like this.

"I think you're forgetting about the president that married his teacher," Jace said as he came back into the room. He winked at me, and I was pretty sure he was doing it only to make me quiver, which I didn't do. What he said didn't really have anything to do with the facts I said, so it just sounded stupid to me. I decided just to smile a little, but I suspected he could tell my true feelings on the subject. It sounded pretty pedophilish if you think about it meaning he is a teacher and he is attractive. His students probably have deep dark fantasies about him and here he is egging them on by suggesting such a thought.

Back at our high school there were a couple of teachers whom had sex with quite a few of their students. I had not been one of them, just to clarify, but I was almost positive there were a few rumors about Jace with one of his English teachers. Thinking about it, I remember there being rumors about Jace's sister with one of her teachers as well. I hadn't really checked on Izzy since that horrible day. Simon hadn't really been around much, but I have been afraid of what his answers would be if I questioned him about that night.

I gave the students their presidents to look up and the bell finally rang. I got a few "Have a great day, Ms. Fray" so I figured the students were starting to like me better. Though I definitely checked to see if there was something taped to my back.

"You know, Jace, I remember in high school there was a rumor going around about you and a certain English teacher," I had a smirk on my face. I wasn't sure if it was true or anything but I meant to be playful.

"Ah Ms. Meyers, what a woman."

"Holy shit, so it's true?" but I thought about it for a second more and finished with, "Wait, I don't believe you."

"Well I'm glad that you have at least a little faith in me. Of course it's not true. I said that senior year because my friends wouldn't get off my ass for being single. I had my eye on someone that _entire_ year," he explained with a big smile, I knew he was hinting at his apparent "love" for me.

"Hmm, and I had always thought the great Jace Lightwood was famous for his many conquests," I quoted my brother because I had asked him a few days ago what Jace was all about. The confusion I have been feeling lately came again as I thought about the possibility of this gorgeous man in front of me pursuing me. I know the rose he gave me must have been a really sweet gesture in his mind, but the only thing I think about when I get flowers is death. Not just because every inch of a funeral is covered in flowers but also because all flowers do is die. Even if you keep them for years in a garden, they will eventually die. Trees are much more beautiful because they have a probability of actually living a long fulfilling life.

I had almost forgotten the words Jace had said to me a few weeks ago, but my intoxication level wasn't high enough when he said it so I woke up with that unforgettable memory planted in my mind.

"Oh you wound me, Clary." We started packing up our things and we did it in silence because it seemed like both of us had a lot of things on our minds. I wanted to find the best way to say that he shouldn't buy me any more flowers, or anything for that matter. We weren't in a relationship, nor did I believe we ever would be. Sure I had attempted to comfort him, but that was because I was the only one around. Either way you look at it, it was fucked up. There I was comforting a man who had gotten into an argument with his girlfriend or what he had explained as his "fuckbuddy" when I asked a few days later.

"Jace, can I tell you something in confidence?" I asked as we were about ready to leave the room.

He made a small noise of annoyance, but then quickly said, "You should know by now anything you say is safe to my ears alone."

That was all the reassurance I needed to tell him the truth, "Please don't buy me flowers anymore. They only make me sad."

Jace stopped dead in his tracks and turned his full attention towards me. He had been in the process of locking the door so his key, with his very predictable Nike lanyard, was hanging from the door. Gold met emerald as he searched my face in silence. His face turned into one of sympathy while mine responded by turning into one of disgust.

I turned away from Jace as I noticed his face start to go back to his normal blank look. It's like I could hear his smirk appear. Either amazing or disturbing I somehow had recognized that trait of his. "Can I at least ask why?"

Not answering right away might have let him know that it wasn't such a simple answer, for example: "I don't want flowers from _you_. I want flowers from Jessie down the hall". I guess it would be reassuring to a guy that wants to get you in the sack. We were walking down the hall during last period when Aline made another appearance.

Only God would know what she had been up to, her blouse buttons were all wrong and her skirt was sideways. She seemed to have no clue about her appearance, "Well _hello _Jace, isn't it just a bea-u-ti-ful day?"

"Aline, I thought I told you to go see the dean?" disapproval was all over his tone. "C'mon _Jace_, we both know that was all just for show," she then brought her eyes across me, though I have no idea how she didn't notice me before, "Oh God I didn't realize _she_ was with you."

It was then that Jace became unrecognizable, pure rage Jace got right into Aline's face. "How many times do I have to remind you that I am your teacher, you will refer to me only as Mr. Lightwood. I have gotten so tired of your attitude, Ms. Penhallow, especially to Ms. Fray here, who has been nothing but kind to all of my students since she arrived."

Oh great, the teacher stereotype. The scolding sounded so familiar that it brought a bad twist to my stomach. Aline didn't see it this way and tears started forming in her eyes, the sweet schoolgirl act was quickly coming to a close and I saw Jace's anger start fading much to my disappointment.

While I could stick around until Aline was dealt with, I decided to opt out of that awkward conversation and just leave now. "Well this has been quite the afternoon, I'll see you both tomorrow," I started walking away, but I remembered something, "Oh and Aline? Your president is Abraham Lincoln." I started walking again right away so I didn't have to hear her sarcastic answer. I bet I was going to hear a lot of crap about this tomorrow.


	12. Trying New Things

**Let me know what you think? :)**

**Clary POV**

"SIMON! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ANSWER THE DOOR EVENTUALLY!" I screamed as I kicked and hit at my supposed best friend's door.

The thirty-seven, now thirty-eight calls, I made to this asshole weren't getting me anywhere. It was raining and here I was standing outside his door like a dumbass.

I finally got enough courage to start texting Simon last week, but they all went unanswered. My annoyance level reached sky high after the third day of him ignoring me.

Yesterday I called his boss to ask if he was working. Mary, at the local Game Stop, told me that Simon had been calling in for the past week claiming to have "the flu".

We had been best friends for seven years and the guilt I feel keeps getting bigger with every passing minute.

Simon and I have never gone this long without speaking. I don't know what happened and I'm not sure how to fix it.

I need Simon; he is the only person in the entire universe that truly knows me. This is so frustrating. He's never shut me out like this before. Adding to my dismay, I'm probably going to get a cold. My father is going to drag me back to Vermont after I graduate. My mother keeps pestering to fly me back to New York to visit. Even though that's the place I want to go most, the situation awaiting me there scares me away every time. I don't ever want to deal with my mother figuring out that I have no control over my own life. She doesn't need to see how much I actually hate everything I have come to be. I can handle keeping my shit together for Christmas and Thanksgiving, but to hold it together for a whole week…it just would not happen. My brother never helps, and his hatred towards me continues to grow every day. The intensity of it consumes me whenever we're in the same room together.

The tears start coming and there's nothing that can stop them. Exhaustion takes over and I go to put my back against Simon's apartment door, but slide down due to the rain and my current mood. I haven't even been here for ten minutes and here I am, a complete mess just like the droplets that surround me.

* * *

><p>I'm vaguely aware of a man saying my name, but the voice isn't the one I was expecting. I audibly groan and get a chuckle from said man. I open my eyes just enough so that it's possible to see him in front of me. The squinting apparently made my face look funny, so Jace kept laughing at me.<p>

"What's so funny, Mr. Lightwood?" I say, but my voice sounds unintentionally sleepy.

Without even a warning, he is picking me up off the ground and attempting to carry me. "You just amuse me, Clary."

I roll my eyes and ask, "Is this really necessary?" He nods with a stupid grin on his face and I don't fight him, simply because I'm just too freaking tired from earlier. The rain had stopped and the sun had come out for the first time that day. Oddly enough the sun was about the same shade as Jace's hair. I had the sudden urge to comb my fingers through it to see if it was as soft as I imagined. I questioned him instead, "How did you find me exactly?"

I heard him clear his throat and then respond, "Isabelle called me."

"Okay, and how did Isabelle know I was at–Oh my God," He just nodded again, but this time he wasn't smiling.

It was a few seconds later that Jace said, "Apparently you interrupted a very special _one-on-one_ between my sister and your friend."

_Fucking ew._

"Well he's an ass, and so are you."

He stiffened and glared down at me. "What the hell? I just rescued you from that awkwardness. You should be praising my existence right about now," his annoyance clear.

"Oh please. That right there is exactly why you're an ass. It's just your personality."

"I'll have you know I am a very fine person. I volunteer a lot of time to help coach the sports teams at school, I don't get paid very much for that, you know."

"See but you _do_ get paid to help those kids."

"So, what's your point…?"

"Have you ever done anything for anyone simply because you wanted to make someone's day?" He had stopped walking and I looked at the car he was currently opening. A dark blue Lamborghini was in front of me and I was about to throw a fit as the doors opened, similar to wings. Quickly, I jumped down from Jace's arms and crossed my arms in a bossy stance. "You're fucking joking, right?"

Jace smirked as a response, but I could tell his confidence was a little shaky. His eyes gave him away. "It's just a car, Clary."

"…Just a car? Jesus Christ, you must be from the Bill Gates family or something." I got into the car, but I couldn't figure out how to get the door back down to close. Jace had to come all the way back to my side because I was hopeless. I had such an urge to slap the grin right from his face.

He didn't even need keys to drive it; all he had to do was press a button. _I think I was born into the wrong family._ "If it makes you feel any better, it's the 2012 model."

I scoffed, "Somehow, you have managed to make me feel ten times worse. You should be proud."

I looked to see where we were going, and also just so I could look at something that wasn't this obnoxious car. I saw that we were passing the new McDonalds and decided to say, "Take a left here!"

"Clary, your dorm is all the way across town," but he got into the turning lane anyway.

I checked the time, 11:34 A.M.. "I hate that you know that. What day is it?"

"It's Saturday…that's why we're off today? What kind of stuff have you been smoking?" He was definitely in a good mood, and I could almost foresee that this mood will be destroyed in about 2 minutes.

"After the yellow apartment complex, take a right. Haven't we established that you are the only one in this car that smokes anything that will kill us?" I watched him follow my vague directions perfectly, even though there were about six other complexes around this street. "Okay good, and pull into that parking lot there," I pointed at the small crowded one next to a sign that read, "Local Food Bank".

Jace's eyes got really wide as he did as I told him. The cars surrounding his were pieces of shit compared to the one we were sitting in.

As soon as he parked, I was out of the car and attempting to close the door. I managed to close it before Jace had even gotten out of the car.

"Mam, maybe you shouldn–Clary!" I smiled wide at Joe, one of the local homeless men that regularly came to here to eat.

"How have you been, Joe? It's been a while since I've seen you!" I pulled him in for a hug.

I felt a hand pressed to my back right away and I turned my head to come face to face with Jace. He looked terrified for me to be in the arms of this man, well I should probably say arm. I smiled at him and introduced Joe, "He is one of the local war veterans."

Joe stuck out his left hand for Jace to shake, and thank the Lord, but Jace didn't even hesitate. Joe then made a couple of snide comments about the car and Jace just brushed it off, knowing that he was kidding.

He led us into the building where I could smell garlic, so I assumed spaghetti was being served today. I asked anyway, trying to make conversation. "Oh, mama's cooking up some spili for us."

"It smells delicious in here. But then again, it always does!" I laughed and felt Jace pull me back to walk side by side with him. "I'm sorry. Is this too much?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, I just never would have pegged you as the service hours type."

I gave him a cold look, "It's not a type. I've been coming here for the past three years, because my father cut me off my freshman year for about two months and I didn't have anywhere else to go. Of course Simon offered to help me, but I couldn't do that to him. They brought me in here and as soon as my dad got his head out of his ass, I started volunteering here whenever I could. These folks are like my family, and I treat them as such. But if you aren't comfortable here, you can go. It won't hurt me if you leave."

"Now just hold on a minute, little lady. You just always seemed like the spoiled type, much like myself. I know you come from money, so I had no idea that this was ever a firsthand experience for you. Your dad actually just cut you off?" he sounded genuinely shocked.

My face softened as I explained, "Yes, he had this crazy idea that if he just stopped paying for me to exist, then I would beg him to put me on the next plane back home. He wants me the way he has Jonathan, just completely under his wing. I can't even be in the same room with the man for more than twenty seconds. He's kind of bipolar. Half the time, I'm this alien child that doesn't exist, and then the other half, I'm his golden child above even Jonathan." Jace nodded and inspected the cafeteria-like room we were standing in. Most of the individuals in here had on clothes that were the wrong size and some sort of hat. Some of their clothes had holes or showed extreme signs of wear. All in all, they didn't look half bad, but I was biased. Jace probably thought I was friends with a bunch of hoboes. Ironically, we always pray to St. Elizabeth of Hungary, who is the patron saint of hoboes.

"Mr. Lightwood, I gotta say I would never have expected you to ever walk in here," Gloria, or Mama, depending on if you are a regular or not, said to Jace who was in shock.

"Mrs. Vasquez, I had no idea you did this."

She points her slotted spoon at Jace and states, "Do what? Cook? Honey you see me do this everyday. Here, people are just a tad more appreciative. I'm not into this formality thing here. Call me Gloria, or Mama, which ever you prefer, and I will call you by your given name," Mama shook Jace's hand and then pointed the spoon at me instead. "Clary, this place wasn't the same without you this week."

I totally put Jace on the spot by saying, "I know Gloria, but my boss here is just a homework pusher and I can barely get a break for coffee nowadays." My smirk quickly turned into a smile as Jace tried to say it wasn't his fault and yada yada yada.

She grew tired of us fast and sent us to the line to help serve lunch. We had a system going where Jace would put about a spoonful of noodles on the tray and I would top it with sauce. Judie, serving the garlic bread next to me, was a sophomore at St. Mary's. She started volunteering a few months ago before I even had a clue where my student teaching was going to be.

When Gloria found out I was going to be working close to her, she promised to save a lunch for me everyday. Which of course, I never refuse; her food is my favorite. Though about three times a week she makes some kind of meat, which I don't eat. She used to lecture me nonstop about how I'm missing the protein from the meat, even though I tried to explain to her that the vitamins I take work the same.

I looked over at Jace and he had this growing confusion all over his features. He caught my curious stare and said, "Why isn't anybody eating?"

"Oh, we haven't said prayers yet."

About five minutes later, everyone was sitting at the tables with their trays, and Gloria rang her spoon against an empty pot. "Okay everyone, just bow your head so we can all receive God's blessing on this wonderful evening," after a few silent seconds she finishes with, "Now we have a couple friends here who have never shared a meal with us, and then again there are some of you who I see just about every day. All of you are dear to my heart and I am so blessed to spend these moments with you." Then the clattering of silverware and conversations filled the silent room.

* * *

><p>"Clary, Clary, Clary!" Jeffry, one of the little boys that came here a lot, came running up to me as I was cleaning the dishes.<p>

I dried my hands and picked him up off the floor quickly, "What's going on, little man?" I started tickling him and in no time he was screaming "Uncle!" and giggling.

"Look what I did!" He jumped down and pulled out a paper leaf from his pocket and gave it to me.

I unfolded it and it read, _I'm thankful for Mama and Clary_. The tears came for the second time today, for completely different reasons, and this time I kept them in. Pulling him in for a very tight hug, I choked out, "Oh that is so sweet," or something that sounded like it. "Let's go put it with the others, alright?" Jeffry nodded his head and led the way.

Out in the main room there is one of my paintings hanging in the middle of the wall. Jace followed us out here so I quickly explained, "It is a tree that I modeled after the tree of life in The Lion King. Gloria started calling it the Tree of Thanks, so all of kids here started writing things they're thankful for on paper leaves so they can stick them on the wall next to the painting. It looks pretty cool since she aligned the paper leaves with the painted ones."

"It's really cool, Clary. This whole organization is really inspiring, the people here are so kind."

"Oh, just come on a day when there isn't enough food for everyone, or we're a few minutes late, I'm sure you'll change your mind about it real quick."

Jace pulled my hand into his and we said goodbye to everyone. As we were walking out, I asked, "So that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"I never knew this place even existed. And it makes me so angry that there was a time when this was the only place you could go. Those people in there love you, Clary, like you are their family. Hell I've started feeling jealous about how many people love you compared to how many I have."

"Well, Jace, just start trying new things, and the love will come later, I promise. Doing things for other people, is a great sacrifice, but it is one that many great people have done before us, and there are people after us that will continue to devote their lives for causes like this. I have discovered that is what real love is: devotion."

Jace let go of my hand and tilted my chin up. "Hmm, you may have something there," and he finished his statement with a kiss.


	13. Let it Go

**I can honestly say this chapter wouldn't have been written without some of my favorite songs :) Including: Signs by Ron Pope, Run by Snow Patrol, Sailing On by Ryan Star, and the list goes on and on... **

**RIP to the brilliant Robin Williams, you will be dearly missed. **

"Okay I would like a venti and grande black coffee, please." It was one of those mornings where I hadn't slept a wink the past two nights. The Starbucks lady looked at my current state and nodded with an over-the-top smile. I am so overjoyed that this lady finds my horrible life amusing. I threw money down quickly before saying something that could quite possibly get me kicked out of the only Starbucks in town. Yeah, I would never risk that.

"Clary, hey," I didn't even have to turn around to know that it was the one person I did not want to see.

"_Oh, great. It's you,"_ there was no way to stop the nasty tone that slipped from my mouth. I still had no intention of turning around. Instead I observed the barista pouring my coffee so slowly; it felt like watching grass grow.

He tried the grab my wrist to turn me around, but I flinched about a foot away. "Clary, _please_, this is ridiculous! Why haven't you been answering my calls? Or texts?" he sounds desperate. It isn't a good look on him, I noticed as I turned around.

"You can't technically ignore someone if you've blocked them. Can you, Simon?"

"Venti coffee and grande coffee!" Practically racing to the counter, I grabbed my drinks and headed for the patio exit.

Naturally, though unfortunate, he was right behind me. "You're being a little overdramatic about this, Clary."

"You are such a hypocrite, you know that don't you?! I ignore your calls for two nights and I'm a huge bitch, but you ignore me for weeks and it's perfectly okay? Well fuck you, Simon. That's a bunch of bullshit. You know what, it's fine. I thought I needed you and I ended up crying at your doorstep," I opened my car door to distract myself from crying again. No sleep had officially wrecked all of my emotions. "It's fine though, I realized I don't need you as much as I always thought I did. Anyways it doesn't matter, I'm going to be late for work." I close the door and speed off before I can even put my seatbelt on.

By the time I pull into the parking lot, I've already finished my grande coffee. I knew two coffees would be needed today.

This sounds awful, but it wasn't even the situation with Simon that had me in this state, it was completely Jace. _Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to ruin everything? _I can't even close my eyes without picturing it in my head. I was afraid to sleep because there was no questioning what my dreams would contain. My outburst at Simon wasn't even truly about him. I was just in too much of a foul mood to really decipher where my anger was coming from until it was too late.

I am successfully ruining relationships left and right. _Congrats Fray, you've done it again!_

School actually isn't supposed to start for another ten minutes so I may have lied to Simon, but I had no intention of staying there and fighting with him. We knew the worst things about each other, and we could ultimately ruin our friendship if we really started fighting.

Stacy, one of my students, held the door open for me so I made polite conversation with her for a few seconds before she ran off to her friends.

Isabelle walked right in front of me, blocking my path. "We need to talk." She looked as gorgeous as ever, even though she too had bags under her eyes. Unless you were looking for them, like I was, you'd never notice.

"Sorry I can't. I have a lesson to plan, papers to grade, and people to ignore," I stepped to the right of Izzy and kept walking. She huffed in annoyance and went back to the office.

Knowing this was going to be the longest day ever, I kept picturing the great night of sleep I would eventually have.

* * *

><p>The first bell hadn't gone off yet, so I prayed Jace would just leave me alone for a few hours. "Are you just going to ignore me today?" All hope was then lost.<p>

I didn't answer right away, in hope that I could come up with some excuse that wasn't stupid. We needed to stop this, and I presumed Jace would think the exact opposite. I didn't even want to think about the consequences to our actions, but I was going to have to eventually.

"There's that word again…no I don't need to ignore you. Yesterday I reflected on our actions, and I think it would be in our best interest if we just forgot about it," I smiled at him. Hopefully he couldn't see how fake it was.

Jace studied my face and said, "How am I supposed to forget it?"

"It was just a kiss, Jace, I'm sure you had plenty of those before." I went back to grading papers, which probably should have been done yesterday instead of wallowing in my own self pity.

The next thing I know, Jace has his hands on my desk and he's leaning over it towards me. "Oh I'm sorry, most of my _kisses_ don't last twenty minutes. And they definitely don't end with both of us shirtless _in the backseat of my car."_

I really had no idea how to respond, but the bell rang so it seemed like the big guy was rooting for me. I'm glad someone is. How does a person answer that?

Throughout the next hour I just watched Jace. He turned into Mr. Aggressive and his teacher game was on point. Taking out one of my school notebooks, I wrote down some of the things he said to the students. I know it was weird, but this stuff doesn't come natural to me like it does to him.

_Teacher Etiquette by Clary Fray:_

_1. Always treat the students with respect (even if they are bitches)._

_2. Give them your __**FULL**__ attention. _

_3. Take their thoughts into consideration (even if they are stupid)._

_4. Don't bring your personal issues to the classroom (refer to Jace currently). _

_5. Don't sleep with students._

_6. Don't sleep with staff._

_7. __Do not__ sleep with teachers._

_8. Just don't sleep with anyone; it makes life worse. _

_9. Stop caffeine addiction ASAP. _

_10. Make sure not to get attached to students. _

_11. Have authority always (even when intimidated). _

"What are you doing?" Jace whispered in my ear. I jumped and my notebook went flying to the floor.

"_Jesus," _I lost my breath for a few seconds so I was a little unsteady.

"Nope, but I've been told the resemblance is startling."

I laughed slightly, remembering Simon say the same thing. "You should get some new material, Mr. Lightwood. Simon uses that one all the time."

Jace picked up the notebook, but of course he had to read it before giving it back to me. _Typical_. "You should rethink seven and eight. There's no fun in that. Especially when you're talking about me."

"You are so narcissistic, it's repulsive." Some snickering started and I quickly realized we had an audience. My face reddened and I giggled, truly embarrassed for him. "Oops."

"Get back to work guys. Don't make me give you more to do tonight; you all know I will." The students simultaneously groaned but opened their books and starting writing. "Ms. Fray, can I see you out in the hallway for a minute?"

I put my best pout face on, "If I say I'm sorry, can we not?"

"Not a chance," Jace pulled my chair out, roughly I might add. It caused me to whimper at him, but it was to no avail, so I followed him outside.

He checked to see if there was anyone in the hall, then took me and pushed me up against the lockers.

"Jace, what the fuc–" he cut me off by kissing me like it was his dying wish. _These lips are like a drug, my own personal kryptonite_. If I died right now, everything would be okay.

But then again, I'm in a hallway where anyone could see me making out with my boss. When my legs made a move to wrap around him, I pushed him away with all my strength. "YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP DOING THAT."

"My apologies, I had no reason to do that right now," he turned around and started pacing while getting his breath back. "I called you out here because we need to talk, but honestly I can't look at you without wanting to attack you again. I've been waiting years to do it, so forgive me for being a little impatient now that I know what it's like."

I was fighting a grin, _Fray 1, World 1_. "C'mon Jace, this thing between us," I pointed at him and then back at myself, "won't last. It's just the forbiddance of it that keeps it interesting. Here you are acting like I've put you under a spell, when truly I have just been something you aren't supposed to want. We just need to take a break from it. I haven't slept in two days so I would really like to sleep tonight, but God knows I won't be able to if I have to worry about this mess." He nodded, but I could tell he didn't want to drop it yet.

We walked back into the room just as the bell ended first period.

* * *

><p>My venti coffee was finished by the beginning of third period, and after twenty minutes I needed to pee again. The freshman were learning about World Studies so Jace had them doing different projects about each continent, though he did exclude Antarctica. Since each continent had different countries and diversity, none of the groups were doing the same basis of the project. It was an interesting concept considering how boring some of this information could be.<p>

Teachers had a way of being lazy when assigning the same projects to everybody, but Jace was not that kind of educator. I envied how easy it was for him to love his job. He was currently walking around the room checking on the groups to see how their research was progressing. I stood up and met him across the room. "Yes, Ms. Fray, you may go to the bathroom. Though this feels like the seventh time today."

"In my defense, it's only been four," the freshman laughed as I walked out the door, away from my annoyed mentor.

When I was washing my hands the intercom went off and Isabelle said, "Clary Fray, to the office please!"

_Do I have to? _

My reflection was monstrous, and I thought about just going home sick. My father would somehow hear about it, so it wasn't a very good idea. I felt a fever was coming on so I splashed some cold water on my face before leaving the bathroom.

The office looked much better without the balloons everywhere. It definitely looked better without a crying Isabelle on the floor. Speaking of her, she was currently staring at me from her desk. She must have said something when I walked in, "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked you when your birthday is."

She didn't sound very interested in the subject, or maybe she just didn't want to be in a conversation with me. "August, why?"

In a very snotty tone, "So your mom doesn't know when your birthday is?" Izzy tosses me a package from the floor.

I decide against a bitchy response so I examine the box instead. It's just a normal UPS shipping box, but my mom has decked it out with "Happy Birthdays".

I start grinning despite my awful mood. "Oh, it's a long story." I couldn't get the box opened with my nails so I asked Izzy for a box cutter, luckily she had one.

Mommy dearest had outdone herself yet again. The whole inside of the box had scattered paint all over it. Inside was a smaller box with my name painted on the wrapping paper.

Underneath the wrapped box was a small piece of paper taped to the bottom.

_Clary, _

_I can't believe you're going to be twenty-two in just a few short months. You have no idea how proud I am to be your mother. My friends say I brag about you too much, and they're right. I know we see each other a few times a year, but Clary, I miss you so much. That's why this year I decided to get you something for the both of us. _

_Love Always, _

_Mom_

_P.S. There's one for Simon too. _

Well she might have to refund whatever it is. Opening the box I discovered two plane tickets to New York City. They were two-way flights from LAX to JFK scheduled during Spring Break. It would be a miracle if we were on speaking terms by the time of this flight.

"_Fuuuuuuuuck me,"_ I dramatically pulled my head back in agony.

"Is that an invitation?" the cocky familiar voice of Jace commented from behind me. Groaning loudly I took the box and headed back to my own personal hell.

When I walked back into the room, the lights were out. Alec was in the front showing the kids how to do something on the projector. They were going to the computer labs later this week during class, so I assumed he was explaining different ways to present their projects.

With Jace gone for the time being, I decided to text my mom.

_Thank you so much, Mom! I can't wait to come see you! I'm sure Simon will be thrilled to visit his family as well. Thanks for thinking of him :)_

All complete lies.

Now I had to actually speak to Simon and soon. Texting him now would be an awful idea, considering the way I dealt with him this morning. Putting my head in my hands, I wonder what I've done to deserve all of this.

Once Alec was done he left, and I just walked around the room helping the students like Jace had done earlier. Jace did not return until the bell rang to end the period. I had been expecting a stupid comment or two from him, but he just kept quiet. The silence was uncomfortable, but perhaps needed.

* * *

><p>Around lunchtime, I was seconds away from passing out due to exhaustion. Jace still hadn't said a word to me, not that I really cared. <em>Okay, it was fairly annoying. <em>

After the class left I broke the silence, "Mr. Lightwood?"

"Hmm?" he didn't even bother to look up from his laptop.

It was a long shot but I didn't know how much longer I could do this, "Do you think I could go home sick? I feel like death."

Jace gave me his full attention then and worry filled his expression, "Are you alright?"

"To be completely honest, no, not really. My lack of sleep is getting to me and I think I may have a fever," I clarified and started packing my stuff. I assumed from his concern that he was going to say yes, but honestly didn't really care much about his approval at this point; I just wanted to go home.

"Yeah that's fine, Clary. I'll let Izzy know what happened, so you can just leave. Feel better!" He walked out the door with me so he could head to lunch. I started going the other direction, just so I didn't have to walk with him. Going home was a blur, all I know is that I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

* * *

><p>Someone has been banging on the door for five minutes and I've been trying my best to ignore it.<p>

"Helen, can you get that please?" I say from my pillow and go straight back to sleep.

And thirty seconds later, more bangs begin.

I peer up from my bed to look at my roommate's perfectly made bed. Getting out of bed is unarguably the worst pain my body has ever experienced. But if there were something to argue it with, it would be my first hangover; I don't think I got out of bed for twelve hours the next day.

Only tripping once on the way to the door, I considered it an achievement. My room was pitch black, so it had to be sometime in the middle of the night. I unlocked the door and dragged it open. Then I slammed the door in his face and went back to bed.

_Just a bad dream, Clary. _ _It's just a horrible nightmare. _

Then I'm being shaken awake; instinctively my hand connects with my perpetrator's face. After a few seconds, the pain in my hand feels all too real, and I realize that I actually just punched someone. I hear a muffled chuckle and then my desk lamp is being switched on.

Jace is standing over me holding his face, but his award-winning smirk is still present. "I didn't think you had it in you, Morgenstern."

Hearing that, I was suddenly wide-awake. "Don't call me that."

"My apologies, Ms. Fray. I just used to know someone who had practically the same punch as you. Odd fellow, he was. Had blonde hair so white, it looked bleached. Take one look at his father though and you can see the resemblance. I haven't seen him in quite some time, but I'm sure if I went through your phone, I'd find his number."

I slowly sat up throughout his speech about my brother, not getting what the point was. "Okay, and?"

"Well you see, I still don't seem to understand just why you go by Fray now. I mean the last name Morgenstern would give you so many opportunities. Your father has hundreds of companies all over the world, and thousands of connections. You could be at some super rich private school in London right now, but instead here you are. So my question is, why?" It was the first time anyone had ever asked me that. Everyone just assumed it was because I hated my father, or that I wanted to start on my own without his reputation behind me, both were true but not the whole of it.

"That was the reason why my father cut me off, you know? Oh God, he was so angry," I couldn't help but giggle at the memory. "I changed it legally, once I turned eighteen. As soon as he heard about it he took the first flight here to drag me back home. It's ironic because he had just visited to give me my birthday present, my green Kia Soul. It took him a whole month to get his head out of ass and let it go–" Jace interrupted me before I could finish.

"Speaking of letting it go, can we go?"

"Well I guess you are the type to skip right through foreplay," I joked and looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. "It's almost midnight, can I ask why you decided the best time to visit was in the middle of the night? I'm surprised my RA didn't skin you for making such a racket at the door."

Jace then pulled the covers off of me and pulled me up so I was standing in front of him. "C'mon Clary. If you saw me holding fifty dollars and a flirty smile, you'd melt too."

"On the contrary, I think I'd take the money and run." I started walking to my closet to get a change of clothes for whatever Jace was here for. My clothes were still on from school earlier, so I felt gross.

"That's ironic because that's exactly what Katie did," I snuck a peek at Jace grinning from the mirror on my closet door. I couldn't help the small smile that appeared on my face a second later, his goofy smile was contagious.

Going through my clothes, I settled on some cozy sleepwear. I had no idea why he was here, but I was not about to get all dolled up. "Tell me I can wear pajamas and I'll come."

"That's perfect, but you should bring stuff for tomorrow as well."

I was shell shocked to say the least, "Wait, what?" My body froze and I turned around to look at him as he answered.

"Oh, calm down. I'm not taking you to my secret cave in the middle of the woods. I just wanted to sit on my couch and watch movies, and I figured adding another person to that equation sounded like a better evening. Also I heard about the fight you had with Simon and figured you needed somebody."

He had a point. Without Simon, who was I going to nerd out with and complain about my life to? I didn't have anyone else. Closing myself off from the world has ruined me from having friends. That's probably why I've had horrible luck with boyfriends too. Remembering my past experiences in that department makes a shudder run through my body.

I shoved the clothes in my bag and swung open the door. When Jace walks past me he expects me to follow him. After waiting a few seconds he asks, "What're you waiting for?"

"Dude, I have to change out of these clothes and take a shower." I say it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, because it is.

"Okay well change quick and you can shower at my place," he states and closes the door to give me privacy, but also probably to avoid hearing my protests. Jace was definitely a manwhore, so I assumed he'd have some type of girl's shampoo. My bag was filled with random clothes from my closet. Lastly, I put on a pair of sensible black flats and snatched up my keys. After making sure my door was locked, I turned around to find Jace propped up against the wall opposite my dorm. He's completely focused on a game on his phone.

I wait for a few seconds, but he's still completely engrossed in his game by the time I'm walking towards the parking lot. I roll my eyes once I hear Jace calling after me when I'm near the staircase.

He catches up to me fairly quickly so I stop and let him catch his breath. "What game were you playing?"

He pushes his hair back with his hand, a nervous habit that I just now noticed. "Candy Crush, obviously."

I laughed at him, until I realized how completely serious he was being. He held the door open for me, being the gentleman that he was. "If it makes you feel better, I'm addicted to Kim Kardashian Hollywood."

He snickered and replied, "Yeah, yours is way worse."

Making my way to my car, Jace then grabbed my wrist and started walking in the other direction. I stopped us both and said. "Jace, I'm driving my own car."

"That's a waste of gas."

The look I was aiming for was a general _why must you annoy me_, but I think it came off more, as _you are a fucking idiot._ "Jace, you have to coach after school, what am I supposed to do? Twiddle my thumbs waiting for you to be done?"

"I mean it only takes roughly an hour, and we could grab dinner afterwards. C'mon please?"

"Why now, Jace?"

"Because I don't want to spend today alone," something about the way he said it, made me agree. The thought of being alone, which apparently I now was, terrified me.

It took about five minutes before Jace pulled into a private drive. The driveway was lit up with lights and the mansion looked beautiful. I wanted to have a better look at it during the daytime, before I made any snide comments about it. "I will never get used to this."

"Oh C'mon, it's not that big! It's smaller than the size of your house."

Only mildly annoyed, "My _father's_ house. I hated that place."

"Yeah me too, let's just get inside." He opened the door and took my bag from me.

The inside wasn't extravagant, much to my approval. We were standing in a foyer with a huge spiral staircase, which seemed to have access to every floor. "This is Izzy's floor. It's probably best to leave her alone tonight. Alec has the basement, which is usually empty. The attic is all mine and incidentally is my favorite place in the whole world." Jace grabbed my hand and guided me up the stairs. "I wouldn't try to slide down the railing if I were you, you'll get a chipped tooth like me." My laughter echoed through the stairwell, and it made Jace join in.

Jace went off somewhere while I inspected his living room. The room was a navy blue and the trim was white, along with the furniture. I should feel completely awkward right now, but I feel more at home than I have in a long time. The wall was decorated with a few paintings, which somehow reminded me of my own work. I loved the attention to detail and artist's way of making me feel connected to the paintings.

I had no idea where Jace ran off to, so I decided to see if he had any other paintings around. He had Starry Night and Irises hanging on the wall throughout the hallway, there were also pictures of Jace's family and it felt like I was seeing him for the first time.

One of the pictures showed a smaller Jace holding the youngest Lightwood; I think Izzy mentioned his name was Max. It was weird to see Jace look so carefree, it made me want to see him like this again.

"Ah, wasn't I just the cutest little nine year old ever? To be fair, this was exactly three seconds before he threw up all over me." Jace appeared next to me with a bowl of popcorn and a bag of sour gummy worms.

"Why must you be so egotistical…please tell me Max takes after Alec in that department?"

His famous grin reappears when he answers, "You'll be happy to know that Max doesn't take after either of us. He's into comic books and anime."

"Hm, I think I'd like to meet him," I bite my lip knowing that was really forward of me. Jace seemed to look uncomfortable and I attempted to save myself, "Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out. It's just I know a lot about that stuff, so I'd get along great with the little guy." I nervously laugh and scratch the back of my neck.

"Clary, stop. You're fine; considering what Isabelle's been putting you through lately, I can't believe you didn't kick me out of your dorm room. We don't get to see Max much anymore, so I hate talking about him. Do you still want to watch a movie?"

"Only if I can have those gummy worms."

"Deal."

We settled on Frozen, because Jace had never seen it and it being one of my favorites. I didn't think about how awkward this whole thing would be, and I probably should have. We were sitting exactly three inches apart and our hands were barely touching. I could barely pay attention to the movie, all I could hear was Jace breathing down my neck. It felt like every movement he made was directed at me. So many scenarios popped through my head, I could barely contain myself.

I took a deep breath and tried to turn my interest back into the movie. We were about half way through the movie when Jace's pinky started fidgeting with mine. It took a total of ten seconds for Jace to have me pinned down beneath him.

"I'm sorry, but I can't watch a movie when you're sitting right next to you." His lips met mine for a split second, and I groaned when his mouth left mine.

"Patience is a virtue, young one. I refuse to make out in front of Disney characters." His warmth receded as he searched for the remote around the couch.

I sat up and helped him look for a couple minutes, but couldn't find it anywhere. Frustration overcame me, and I did the one thing that came to mind. I walked to the outlet and unplugged the TV. "Now…where were we?" I turned slowly to find Jace with a mischievous look on his face.

"You know you could've just clicked the power button," he said as he made his way towards me.

"Nah that would have been too easy." This time I grabbed his collar and pulled him down to my height. "I don't know what we're doing. All I know is that this is stupid and I'm going to regret it, but right now all I want is you." His lips were soft when they met mine. I didn't want to waste any more time and the kiss became more intense just as Jace lifted me up to start walking through the house.

The heat was passionate and so was everything else. I was thrown on a bed and our clothes were thrown to the floor.

The world went away as Jace's mouth left mine again to whisper, "Happy Valentine's Day, Clary."

* * *

><p><strong>AND THEN SHE WOKE UP.<strong>

**JK, I promise. **

**A/N: Guys this is ****important****, please read. I think I'm going to take a break from writing this story. Honestly, I miss my other story so much, and I'm beginning to lose motivation for this one. Ideas are always welcome, and I'm sure I'll post a few chapters here and there, but I won't be continuously working on it. **


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